I think I should just give up this dec's Summer Programme.
Firstly my parents think it's too expensive. 4-5k just for 5wks.. for 3 wks of mugging to cover 2 mod, 1 fieldtrip(which I think its rare) for the Wildlife Diversity module and 1 wk of R&R. Worth it?
Secondly, prof and angie's away.. Really dunno if i can go for SP with UROPS still on. I prob can say bye bye to my mod.
Thirdly, booking flight tics, arranging this and that, paper work is completely troublesome and irritating. Because coming from a 'little travelling' background.. I'm basically lost when it comes to all these. Argh.
Perhaps work and travel is a better alternative since Encik says its definitely much cheaper...
*scratch head then pray*
Lord... how ah....
I really wanna get out of singapore... Get away from this whole spore education system because its just so... suffocating. I want to get out of singapore la!
Super sian la... always got to make such stupid decisions... and then all those people that I need help from are not around at all... so zhun.. :S Lord.. what are you trying to teach me...

Today in church Rev Issac Ong spoke on the first miracle that Jesus did(John 2:1-11). He spoke about how blessings only flow when the disciples/people obeyed His instructions without a fuss. Even if it means silly instructions. Jesus could have filled the jars with wine, but he asked the servants to fill them up with water. They simply did it. And who benefitted from it, the guests, and even the servants who saw such a miracle.
God would not do what we are made to be able to do and God would do the rest that we are unable to. And why should we be doing things halfheartedly when we are given the ability to do what we can? Why are we giving only half our heart to God?
Will the guests be drinking the best kind of wine if the servants become skeptical and filled only half the jars?
Mary had to roll the stone away to let Lazarus walked out in his grave linen to show that Jesus raised him from the dead. Couldn't Jesus roll the stone away without Mary's labour? Couldn't Jesus remove the linen at the snap of his fingers or a word from his mouth? But He chose to raise Lazarus this way.

Obedience is the key. "Whatever He saith unto you, do it".

I need such obedience to be able to see God's glorious work. Be it in me, in others, or in the environment.

May the Lord find me faithful.

Who will be affected if I give a halfhearted job unto Jesus? Who will be affected and possibly end up in hell if I live a christian life halfheartedly? It'll be the people whom i was in contact with.

Who will be blessed if I do a good job? The people around me. And they'll see, they'll praise the Father in Heaven for all the good deeds I've done.

May the Lord be merciful.

May I be able to hear from the Lord on Judgement day:
'Well done, good and faithful servant.'

Then again,..


But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.


2 Corinthians 12:9

Winning an argument is not winning souls.


But sometimes an argument communicates.


How do you tell someone Jesus loves you without an argument?





-I'm tired of Uni. of studying. of all the work waiting for me. of being a christian. Lord... You say You give strength to the weary... You increase the power of the weak.... and those who hope in You will renew their strength... You'll make them soar on wings like eagles... You'll make them run and not grow weary...Lord..restore my exhausted spirit...

See my new fringe colour :)

Just came back from the library... :S im tired. from doing alot of random stuff. of cos. it includes studying. heh but not much. was super distracted. Do agree with me.. its hard to get into the mugging mode... oh well!
As I read I realised that people are conserving and restoring nature in order to provide more for themselves. At the end of the day it is still a selfish gain. Well I don't mean every conservationists are like this, but from the coral reef books and ecology books that i've read, it just seem to suggest that. Hmm.. its good to be conserving and there's nothing wrong really to extract the natural products for the use of mankind because afterall God has provided all these for us. But what I find wrong is.. after all that man has done, there's seem to be no remorse. Nothing really seems to bother humans until the earth turns really bad now.. All the ozone depletion, all the coral bleaching, dynamite finishing, global warming...nothing seems to really matters until humans realise the need to sustain all these that we want to use to sustain our luxurious life. Can we conserve just because we are stewards to where we live? and to restore nature because its God's creation? Seriously, why bother if nature is not one of God's.. earth can almost be treated as a use-and-throw product..heh
Someone ever mentioned, the first world countries pollute the most but the third world countries suffer the consequences of such pollutions the most. While it is true that the third world countries litter the ground as well, who, however, contributes the most to global warming, ozone depletion, oil spills..etc. While the first world people enjoy themselves in air conditioning and complain somemore that its such a hot day, the poor in Africa and even nearby Myanmar toil and faint under the hot sun out in the open, suffering the consequences of global warming. Who has a better chance of getting skin cancer? Think again. Are we being fair..

Then again, what's done cannot be undone. It just goes to show how true God's word is.. that the ground is cursed and the relationship between humans and nature is cursed..Is it even possible to revert our earth back to the original state by our own human efforts where it was lovely and all so sufficient for us, without pollution, without broken ozone, dying plants, extinct animals, bleaching corals, overheated earth...?

Gen 3: 14 So the LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this,
"Cursed are you above all the livestock
and all the wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust
all the days of your life.

15 And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,
and between your offspring ^[a] and hers;
he will crush ^[b] your head,
and you will strike his heel."

16 To the woman he said,
"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you."

17 To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,'
"Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat of it
all the days of your life.

18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.

19 By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return."

Perhaps not... Because humans will continue to sin and exploit our land. Only to think that we are able to use more since we now know how to restore. :S its scary isn't it.. Only when Jesus return and all things shall be made new...

Rev 21:3 "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.""

Praise the Lord for He is coming back soon!

Below are like some random photos..

The Mission

There's a call going out
Across the land in every nation
A call to those who swear allegiance to the cross of Christ
A call to true humility, to live our live responsibly
To deepen our devotion to the cross at any price

Let us then be sober, moving only in the Spirit
As aliens and strangers in a hostile foreign land
The message we're proclaiming is repentance and forgiveness
The offer of salvation to a dying race of man

Chorus:
To love the Lord our God
Is the heartbeat of our mission
The spring from which our service overflows
Across the streetOr around the world
The mission's still the same
Proclaim and live the Truth
In Jesus' name

As a candle is consumed by the passion of the flame
Spilling light unsparingly throughout a darkened room
Let us burn to know Him deeper
Then our service flaming bright
Will radiate his passionsAnd blaze with holy light

Chorus
Chorus

Words and music by Jon Mohr and Randall DennisCopyright 1989 Feed and Seed Music/J.R. Dennis Music. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

I have to constantly remind myself why..
I dropped dance and take G-cube.
May the Lord find me faithful in His mission field.

Wow wow wow! I'm so enjoying my year 3 in hall... well for now ~ hahaha I have so much to talk about the initiation and talent time! E block simply rocks my world!

First things first.

Initiation was a success. Who says E block is just a mahjong and drinking block? *well partly cos half the drinking ppl left and its term time, lesser time for mahjong.. all of us turned year 3 this year! no Time!* And thanks to all the E block freshies who made initiation possible and all so fun! I've never have an initiation in my life but...O ... haha looking at the way it was done.. I don't think I would yearn for one anyway =p
We did our E block drinks, ie, 1. meshed granola bars + water + spagetti... hehe 2. blended lady's finger, celery, banana, apple and carrot. Given the slimy lady's finger... i'm sure you can imagine how gluey the second drink was... :S Then we had our cheesy search IN the toilet bowl! Basically the freshies are blindfolded and led to PUT YOUR HANDS INTO THE TOILET BOWL, TWIRL A FEW ROUNDS IN IT, search through chin-chow and ice to get that one and only cheese ball heh. Meanwhile the freshies are sprayed with water and flour. How interesting~
Another game was to look for all the post its stuck in E block and come back with the actual number of postits found. The number of postits 'found' will be the number of M&M each group will have to picked out from the tray of flour provided. whahaha After which the groups were splitted into 3s and questions were asked.. those got wrong will be 'tekan' lolx
Some freshies like Melissa and Faith ended up in quite a 'bad' state haha.. Faith had to wash her hair twice consecutively! And then we had our 'Black Panda' demonstration and sums up the night. It was HILARIOUS!
O not forgetting our pizza supper... after all the laughter... everyone was tired. All of us..even the seniors I bet.. had a great time! hehe dun be envious of us k :D come Eusoff.. come E block! :)

Then there was the talentcrime.. that's Eusoff talent time for you.. Not showcasing your talent is a crime they say heh. Eusoff has super alot of talents. I kid you not.. Our talentime started at 8 and ended at 12. 12am mind you. haha E block did a magic show~ It was quite impressive, just that it took a tat too long.. heh B blk was awesome.. they won :D C blk put up a life size puppet show hehe and it was really entertaining i must say :D I'll put up the video once its done! (By Eusoffworks)

I guess these are all the things that will stay with me throughout my whole life time. When C4 presented hai kuo tian kong again, I was super emo la.. almost cried. It reminded me of all the times I spent with them, all the fun and care they gave. This graduating batch... is one that will stay sweet in me forever. Then I saw the way Julia danced, the item that Dance Corps put up..it makes me want to do DP this year. Like seniors always say, last year last chance... but its in MARCH! I don't think I can commit at the expense of my already cui grades. I'll miss Eusoff...

But for now, I'll enjoy all I can get out of this beloved second home and family in NUS. :)

why do I bother.. i wonder sometimes. It takes a little effort to care than not to.. but so much more to care when the other party do not reciprocate.
Sometimes I wish I'm not staying in hall. I wish I do not have to bother about the people in Hall. Sometimes I just want to stay in my own quiet corner. Perhaps because I am not included in that happening group which is making so much noise. It bothers me when I'm not included. It bothers me because I think I am self centered.

Taking on so many things make me tired and all the more sick of whatever I have chosen to take up. Life's not very exciting when everyday you have tons of assignments and readings to catch up. Deadlines to meet, project to complete. Even christian activities can be a nuisance at times. I pray that my heart will not turn cold in the midst of all these things. I pray that I would still have time for the people around me, even strangers who come my way. I pray that I'll be able to love them like Jesus did.

But the fact is.. many a times I fail to do so. I do not want to love. Like every other graduating student, I just want to get this last year done and over. I had wished I weren't in University, going through all the unnecessary stress. (Well, I guess it's just in Singapore.) Come to think of it again, billions/trillions of people out there are yearning for the most basic kind of education. How privileged am I but I am almost blind to it.
What to do? I'm consumed each day by the daily needs and attention from all modules and activities. I'm split into many many pieces.. so many that I find it hard to piece them all back together.
I'm being emo now. Its Sunday Night and I'm tired... though its only 1130, I'm feeling strained. Readings not finished, cardio notes not read etc etc..

I need a breather. I need prayers. I need some good fun. I need Jesus.

I need sleep.
Nights.

"Don't think about it.. Shit happens.. :)"
Well yea.. it does haha. But i still feel so sorry for Uncle Sean's car!!! :S Was happily driving out to buy some bread with Aunty Lily... Then... I did a 3 pt turn in that narrow carpark opp tj... I was so proud of myself when I didn't kiss any car when i reverse, I was ultra careful. Then...''bang''.. I hit the red van infront :S The little Swift was scratched and dented at the bottom... OMAN! And then my face turned............white. I was like... o my tian!
It was horrific! I don't know how to tell my aunty can! My face, my aunty said, literally turned white... -_-" Right... and please don't tell my mum this! if not she'll never allow me to drive again!
Thank God the owner of the red van didnt pursue it... If not the both of us wouldn't have been able to get back home in half an hour's time.. :X Though my uncle hadnt had an easy day, he was really nice about it! Thank you Uncle Sean! I was SO RELIEVED after knowing he wasnt made about it ....
Thats not all... Thank God that I didnt bang that idiotic car when I was driving home. That big silver car! look like some lexus/mers.. turned out of the carpark without looking left and right.. I was driving down the main road relatively fast, and this careless guy just drive out. I missed him by just a few centimetres la! Horned loudly at him.. stupid!
Aunty Lily and I could either have ended up in jail or ICU...Thank God!

Ok.. that was another little dramatic episode in my 21st year.

Ended the day by scolding these few kids who went for my cousins' birthday cum baby full month celebration. Their mother was really one of a kind.. firstly she asked if she orders the food fr us(as if we were opening a restaurant) or do it herself.. of cos its DIY la! Then..ok she did and she cooked only for her kids/people. And she took food that was enough to feed a family of 10. Seriously.. and she told the host that that's her food when the host wanted to get some food for his friends. -_- And soon after, she asked and demanded for chicken satay as if she's the host. Well her kids left a whole roll of kitchen napkins and random UNUSED napkins at the place where they ate. Left their unfinished can drinks and satay sticks all over... So I went to tell them to clear up. They didnt listen. Scolded these boys that were barely 16. They looked like they wanted to bash me up. Well I stared back at them. They simply ignored me when I told them the 1st time.. Until my grandma said something.
One of the boys.. whom I 1st approached, just walk away without first listening to what I was trying to tell him! Then he retorted and said if I were so helpful and responsible, I would have helped to clear those rubbish for them. OMGOSH. what is the world coming to! That our Singaporean kids are so spoilt and rude! They are totally senseless! or rather. He is totally ... a brat.
My grandma was quite stunning... She told that guy if he's not part of it, den just shut up and that he's rude because his parents did not teach him well. WOW! I was speechless... heh

haha. Come to think of it.. My life's pretty exciting hur..
BTW im going for G-cube.. pulled out of Dance Corps.. will tell you more of that struggle in the nx post :x
thats all for now~
Ciaoz

GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES
Words and music by: Kim Moore

My life I give to you O Lord use me I pray
May I glorify your precious name
In all I do and say
Let me trust you in the valley dark
as well as in the light
Knowing you will always lead me
Your will is always right

Chorus:
I know God makes no mistakes
He leads in every path I take
along the way that’s leading me to home
Tho at times my heart would break
there’s a purpose in every change He makes
that others would see my life and know
that God makes no mistakes.

And when someday in heaven above
I see His dear face
May I then be counted faithful
as a runner in this race
Now I’m trusting in the Savior
to show me the way
In His righteousness He guides me
as I seek to please Him day by day

Chorus:
I know God makes no mistakes
He leads in every path I take
along the way that’s leading me to home
Tho at times my heart would break
there’s a purpose in every change He makes
that others would see my life
and know that God makes no mistakes

Yoyoyoyoyoyo~~

I just attended the FES National Conference 2008! Theme : Integrated life, Integral Missions

Main pt(s) : An undivided heart for God, for the sake of Christ. Ps 86:11-12

Well... I cant really say that's the main point la... but the above aptly summarise all the main points spoken of during the conference..
I took home with me the word SACRIFICE. I think its a big word... especially to live it out in my life. There's too many things I want to hold on to.. There's too many temptations to give in to.. and too many times, I shortchange God for the things that are temporal and meaningless in the years to come. Still... I chose to do it that way. Hence.. sacrifice is a big word. I need let God to teach me to let go.

This sem :

GEK 1005 Cultures in Contemporary world (arts gem)
LSM3252 Evolution and comparative genomics
LSM 3261 Life form and function
LSM 3212 Human Physio : Cardiology
LSM 3328 UROPS (survivorship & growth of hard corals)
Dance - Internal, Chingay
ECF

G Cube??? I want to know more about missions...... beyond the shores of singapore...
how...
will I survive this sem??? I need to 'wisen' up!!!

Still the grace of my Lord will be sufficient... :D

The list is exhaustive...
Work piles up each day like there's no tomorrow...
If i were to plot a graph on the amount of work to do, i hope its a standard curve...
but sadly. its exponential...

:S

Being involved hall has been one of my greatest joy and pain so far. The joy comes from participating in every single happening event in hall and the pain comes from isolating myself from it.
I hope that my last year in hall be the most fruitful one. Realise I said hall and not school? Life in hall defines my life in University. I am so sure that my life in Uni will just be a study-go home kind of life if not for hall. It has taken up so much of me that I now cant seem to live without it.
Every Sem break, I'll refuse to go home because I know its another 3 months before the next big Eusoff production will be showcased. And I can't wait to be part of it! However, when Sem starts and I have to move back to hall again, I dreaded to move things back.. I was so comfortable at home.
How can I manage my final year in nus such that I get the best out of both worlds.. Graduate with a honorable degree, reasonable grades and leaving hall with the best memories, contributing, even if its my last year.

Yet, how can I forget the God of my life.. the one and only Lord Jesus Christ who saved me and continue to sanctify me. I am torn between my desires and your love. Your love for your people, your eternal plan for your people.
Break my heart what break yours Lord... As I look upon Your face, reassure me Lord that You'll be there when I cry because of the sacrifices I have to make, reassure me Lord that Your glory is much more worthwhile and forever than anything I can possess now. Tell me once again Lord that You love me and You'll help me to live without Eusoff. Help me to focus on what is important Lord. Remind me the lives I see out there are more important than anything else in the world and who knows where they are heading... Show me Lord Your might and Power. Remind me Lord of the good things you have given.
Teach me to number my days aright, that I may gain a heart of wisdom. (Ps 90:12)
Teach me Lord to always rejoice, always pray and always live a life worthy of Jesus.