haiz.. so disgusting.. mug the whole day n im really tired. Maybe because of the weather too. These days are scorching hot. hmmm if only i have an air con installed in my body haha.

Just finished an essay outline. Took a super long time to come up with it, makes me wonder if i can ever finish GP essay during exam. i better do.. GP screwed up, i think my mood will be screwed up too which i should be used to... lolx.

Im getting the exam mood alr, stressed ya. Pimples start popping and im getting sore throat again. Not a good sign but i shall continue to persevere. Just got to do my best and God will do the rest!! :) results is in the hands of God.. haha whatever it is, it will be the best for me!

haha cant resist to write another entry...

nvr in my study years so far have i come across the seriousness of 'PRECISION' in the subject that i study so important. let say for example, bio, the mechanism in certain organs just have to function the way it is made in order for that organ to function properly and efficiently. Maths...the ans has to be that accurate otherwise no marks..haha.etc..
haha.. WOW rite. have been so obsessed with studying-to-pass that i didnt have the time to stop and appreciate what i actually learn. O well but 2 years in JC is too short a time for me to do so.. cos there's just too much to accomplish. I hope there'll be more time in Uni to do so, n of cos learning is a lifetime thing..

The precision thing amazed me though. reminds me of how exact God has made things to be. If it doesnt work His way, it just doesnt work at all. Isnt it true for how one live lifE? If we choose to live the way we want, just like every other people -->decide our life purpose, priorities, life would be in a mess. Just the world we live in today. It's in chaos, SOS. Still, man choose this road to destruction. Just like a diabetic patient who insist on eating sweet food, just because he has a sweet tooth --> destruction rite.

So why dont we just live according to God's way and that's really is the way to live cos we live on this earth that He has made it.

'Mr & Mrs Smith' was good! A MUST watch.. Brad Pitt is sho shuai n Angelina Jolie so cool haha.. storyline..overall it's kinda hilarious. Action comedy ^-^ it's the 2nd movie i watch this year.. seldom watch cos it's x n i watch only those that really interest me. the 1st was 'Phantom of the Opera' another good show. hee

Seems like im having insomnia recently, cant sleep til about 1+am.. no matter what time i get into bed.Have been thinking alot too.. necessary or not, the tots cant be gotten rid of.
Well, it's been quite a while since im feeling dry and away from God..Im not exactly happy.i dun feel the sense of joy n peace i used to enjoy when im walking close to Him. I realise im not practising what i preach too.

In my christian walk(recently rather) im rebellious lo. Short change quiet time, skip BS, take short cuts(listen to christian songs n get emotional),late for morning prayer mtgs, nvr go church, basically rather than doing what God wants, i do what i want --> which really make my life a mess. Little wonder who's god in my life now...
sometimes i find myself doing sth just to go thru the motions without a purpose. or sometimes i'l just do sth in order to please the people. typical people pleaser.Gotten rid of it once but seems like its coming back again.. anw im striving to please God than man cos i can never please man. We are just so 'unpleasable' haha. I do know the truth and rem it helps me to do what pleases God lo. Truth is truth, whether one sees it or not, it's there, cannot be changed. Having faith and trusting God has now become an everyday challenge... God told me not to worry cos He's always there for me. Hi s words came at just the right time. really a great encouragement. cos i was thinking that He must be so sick of my actions that he might leave.. n somemore i cant feel him. Which reminds me too.. this faith i have it's not all about feelings. it's about the Truth. Its about God. He led me to lead a life that's true to Him, true to myself, true to others... it's good having Christ...cos he's there to listen and then strengthen.

read on the papers.. another baby killed by young mother. n i wonder what would i do if i get pregnant myself.. will i abort it or keep it.. perhaps i'll keep it. i just have to learn it the hard way i guess...

gonna restrict from badminton n com for now since it's exactly 2 weeks away from JCT.. ya n what a time to restrict rite (so last min =p bleahz) away from temptations~ tata

'Cheers' competition for me is over.. not that i wanted to. Lost to Michelle and Shui Yan. har, they are really good. Or rather i didnt play well enough :x SICK la.. (excuse) but was really blur, just feel like shutting my eyes and sleep all the while when i was at SBH. Nevertheless, jian chi dao zui hou!! :) hmmm did wish to play rubble set though.

Today had tuition, early in the morning, dint feel like going out of the house at all. In the end, stayed out the whole day to study, cos if i go home, sure bound to sleep. =p gonna learn about the heart of serving later i guess. den going off to watch cheers. All players of 'Leisure' badminton team are out. Paul is playing today, should be able to clear :)

sigh, got to go back to study now tata~

im sick..sore throat, headache, flu. it's really not a good time to be like that. esp when i have a match tml at sbh. sigh. it does get drowsy me to study since i cant do anything else. But i feel terrible and bored. dunnoe if it's the sickly feeling or the books...

im sho tired.... but i still hope to play another game..haha be it singles or doubles. Im kinda addicted to badminton(my fav sport! hah though i do dread going for it sometimes ;p)
just came back from 'Leisure supper' after 'Leisure' time hee. have been playing since fri..continuously that means i didnt study at all!

JCT is 3 weeks away and i think im really not going to make it this time sian. so much to study, so much to practise, so little time!!! haiz.

still 3 weeks.. can just do my best lo. :S cannot waste 2 yrs effort in JC. I need STAMINA and CONCENTRATION to complete this yr. cos it's going TOO FAST and i lack the confidence.. ze me ban!!??

A levels... can you just leave me alone..I DUN LIKE YOU.. lolx.

whenever i see PY or even think about him, i would always be reminded how God changed the impossible to possible.. that leaves me with no excuse why i shouldnt tell others about this Friend that changed the lives of PY, me and many others..
He's Jesus Christ.
There's many anglicans who reject the gospel and develop a wall against Christianty, because of the daily devotions the sch insisted or the hymms students have to sing during wednesdays assembly?
But these are also the people whom God's miracles are seen as awesome, magnificent! They are the people like Paul(the apostle who persecuted and sent all Jewish Christians to jail) who is changed so miraculously to a matyr because he truly believes in the one who came and died for all, is also the One who has promised to be with him through every circumstances, favourable or unfavourable, the same One to provide Paul all that he needs to survive through every trials...

Blood donation to me seems a so near yet so far thing...

last yr the campaign was held in sch.. cant donate cos just 2 hours before the campaign was launched, some stupid flu virus hit me! dunno whether it's the flu thing or sensitive nose. super IRRITATED!! n of cos i was v disappointed.. to think that i try to keep myself 'healthy'(w/o flu, no fever, etc..)

today, finally there's a chance for me to donate blood, cos i haven fall sick throughout the last 3 mths. den my mum spoke to me. Though i noe her intention, i cant help but keep thinking that she doesnt want me to donate..
She said my immune system is low(linking all my sensitive nose,cos i always sneeze, n whatever hormones stuff together), so she's just afraid that my body cant take it after the donation. But i've been waiting, waiting and waiting.. yet another 10yrs to go? after when you say my body is fine for donation..? imagine the number of people dying evryday due to the lack of blood! Im not a saint or wadsoever.. just want to do my part. If everyone were to think the way she does, how many thousands more will die every moment?
I know i'll be really selfish to insist on going and rather irresponsible to do it without your acknowlegement, cos it's gonna be a burden if something really happens to me. I'll be so insensible esp when im the only child... For my parents, for God, for myself, i need to be still and good to strengthen my immune system before i go ahead with what i've always desire to do.('',)
Then i realise, though there's always something we CAN control, but there's often situations when we CANT cos as man.. we are finite beings. JUST limited.

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."

Proverbs 19 :21

Would so much displeasure be raised if we have won? i really wonder..

Im upset because we lost our (yr 2s) last sch tournament, or upset because i see how my friends have changed.. Lord.. help me to forgive because i really dun have the ability to do so.

You see how things went and im sure You'll judge.
"You have heard that it was said,"Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."
"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbours and hate your enemy.'But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in Heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." Matt 5:38-45

This is Your standard and it's hard for me to accept the evil the world is capable of giving. It's painful and energy sapping.. But in Jesus, I shall always rejoice for You gives me strength and joy for facing all the temptations, disappointments, trials, sufferings..

Thank you Father, for giving me every situations that i was in. Without those(even the recent one) i wouldnt have learnt so much and appreciate Your wonderful plan for me. Whether is it the happy moments with my team(team dinner, bbq, trainings, crap, chesse cakes, coffee, malaysia trip...etc) or upsetting incidents(our Finals, scoldings from coach, stress, ....etc) Im still THANKFUL cos YOU have always been there with me. ^-^