崇拜

I like the song... just the tune ba... I cant make out of what she's trying to sing... as in.. i find lyrics meaningless.maybe I just dun understand haha too cheem..

Results for Yr2/Sem 2 released today

	NUS Computer Centre / Registrar's Office Online Release of Examination Results (Undergraduate Students)

Name : TAN TENG GEOK Matric No : U061821W 2007/2008 Sem 2 Examination for SCIENCE 2 Module Code Module Title Grade LSM2101 Metabolism and Regulation B LSM2102 Molecular Biology A- LSM2202 Experimental Molecular and Cell Biology B- PC1327 Science of Music B SSS1207 Natural Heritage of Singapore B+ CAP: 3.03 (CAP computed is accurate based on progress & declaration made as at time of printing.)

Please contact us if you encounter any problems regarding the Online Release of Examination Results for Undergraduate Students.

:) Thank God! Though expected the 2 bottom modules to get A..(argh NATURAL HERITAGE! JUST A BIT MORE TO A-)-_-nvm la.. heh I got my 1st A- this sem! and for a rather difficult mod such as molecular bio.. Im really very very thankful :D I gotten my 1st A+ during CA of that mod too! the one I had a F for my 1st Ca ended up with B-.. I really wonder what I got for the 40% report..put in alot alot of effort lo..but i'll never know... :P

2.7(yr1/sem1)->2.75->2.8(after SU)->3.03 (just for this sem is 3.64! PRAISE GOD!!)

It's been tough trying to fix my eyes on God as I struggle through my grades.. especially while I mix around with people who are either gippers or high achievers..basically people who are really smart. After screwing up my 1st sem in NUS, Felt that my results didnt reflect my efforts in sem 2 and i was upset with God...After church camp, speaker taught us about the ultimate duty of man and how we should enjoy life the way God has planned it.. I come to realise such reflection of results do not determine my value..but the way I handle my results. I ought to fear God and enjoy whatever portion I am given. Next in year 2.. I decided that I'll put in more effort so I can take a step closer to my doctor dream(k im still dreaming hee) but I failed again... as in .. my grades dropped even after putting alot more effort..stayed away from the hall crowd, fun and stuff...(all thanks to JAP! level 1001.. argh take up so much time in the end score C and jeopardise other modules also..dun take language in NUS!) So I was so so disappointed in God.. cos just when I've decided to do sth..He took what I seem to need most away from me. And then God showed me again how the time spent with family and the relationships I have with Him is priority, an ultimate, eternal happiness that cannot be replaced by anything else in the world. Not even a failed job, lest bad grades. All these had happened perhaps because I had left God everywhere else than in my studies, work, my dance, my sports...
So after I placed Him back in the center :) everything seems clearer and easier to achieve, easier to swallow what had come. Easier to organise my life... cos my priority is right. Thank God for guiding, protecting, assuring and comforting me throughout these 2 years.. I know I haven let God down this semester because I have done my best with Him. Partnering God in every thing that I do.. is simply gorgeous. haha (what a word). *scene in Narnia(Prince Caspian) popped up: Lucy found Azlan and hugged Him, had so much fun and joy, Azlan smiled and laughed together with her* Heavenly Father.. are you smiling because I have done you proud? :) I'm smiling because you have made me glad in all your ways :D

And just a few months ago...

Academic Year 0708 started with a bang!! We won the BEST FLOAT! Thanks to Vijay and his team who made this possible :D Enjoy the clip below.. it was truly the best...


In my impression, Science was impressive too when they made that indian god stand.. everyone was like wow! hee. Anw I think they won too .. for the faculty category :D
I'm in both.. from Eusoff and Science so im proud, very proud of both!

And so year 2 started.. I'm still stuck in life sciences.. not changing to other faculty... Well it is not too bad afterall.. considering there's ppl helping me academically this time round. heh
I've been procrastinating my reflections of the year, haven got the time to consolidate them properly..finally here it is..

E3.. the little corner i shared with sopphia and jenna/emily(HK) in Sem 1 and esther/emily koh in sem 2 through sunny and rainy days..the days when flooding occurs along our little corner.. We had our breakfasts at 8.45am usually and then our daily routine will start.. but.. in sem 2 things changed when our biological clocks got screwed up thanks to DP and all our tests haha. o well, but Emily and I tried. half the time we just missed Soph.

Sem 1 took Jap.. it basically killed my interest for the language because it was so exhaustive and I didnt really have much time to my other important modules. But through it I learnt.. to persevere.. even though I really didn't like it very much. God taught me his grace then.. and I just had to cling on to it :D
I can't really remember what I was doing in fact in sem1.. i just remembered Jap and Jap and JAp.. cos that's all i do every single day.. heh Then results came and I did badly la. blamed God and all.. but ultimately came to a conclusion that I ought to just continue to trust God and not throw immature tantrums at such tangible things.
God helped me walked out of it courageously and hang on to my sem 2 studies, Acting Chair of CF, badminton Cap, IVP player, DP dancer. I thank God I was able to pull through all these by his grace...
Sem 2 modules were Molecular Biology, Regulation and MEtabolism, Experimental Molecular and Cell Biology, Natural Heritage of Singapore and Science of Music. The last 2 modules were pretty easy to handle while the other 3 cores are really interesting though content intensive. I hated regulation and metabolism because it was biochemistry but I walked out of the module satisfied as it taught me the interconnectedness of the body, every fineness detail in each metabolic pathway. The malfunction of one pathway will definitely affect the others and this is the way my Heavenly Father has built each and every human being. The very intricate pathways are just examples of what humans cannot imitate. Something that we cannot create de novo. My understanding of the human body at the molecular level was enhanced by the other core module. I understand more about chromosomes, DNA and what, epigenetics i guess... my favourite(yes i actually had a favourite hee) was RNAi (RNA interference), how the set of heterochromatin affect the expression of genes, how the miRNA and siRNA jump around, silencing genes.. and the different pattern of DNA methylation.. all these occur so randomly that it is quite impossible(at least for now) to imitate such patterning and jumps to clone humans. I was in awe of the specific entropy(this is like an oxymoron in itself)of the basic units in the human body. And scientists say this is perhaps the reason why... they are not able to clone humans, other than alot other complications like puncturing aging cells into an egg and stuff.. And I'm so amazed.. I would suppose God wouldnt allow any of those that were made in His image to be 'photocopied'..we are afterall made in His image. No image, no copy. Not today..not in the future. And I was also thinking how on earth can humans breathe breath into humans to make them alive... im referring to having a thinking brain, spirit... emotions... blah blah.. its dumb isnt it.. that humans clone humans..
I enjoyed experimental because though I've gotten an F for my first CA, God was gracious to give me a B for my 2nd one, considering I gave my best effort too.. God knows it too.. and I know I hadnt let Him down for my 40% report... so I was pretty happy.. even if I didn't do well at the end of the day.. I'm sure God sees the effort :D Worked hard..reaped what I sowed :)
Natural Heritage of Singapore talks about biodiversity in Singapore... Its pretty rich and exposed me to alot more marine stuff. Frankly I like it... so I'm like deciding if i wan to take up biology instead of biomed. But for practicality sake.. I'll prob take biomed and contd my journey to a medical certification :P Praying about it.. I liked biology nevertheless.. especially the corals :D It is one of my most enjoyable modules... other than forensic science.. I liked this module very much partly also because of the lecturers. All singaporeans, very easily understood and they were very very very humorous in their own ways and engaging.

At the end of the day I thank God to have been able to plan my time well.. even though towards the end I skipped lessons to prepare for my tests... I was able to catch up on my own and studied for the sake of knowing more and not giving what was required to get past the module. Praise the Lord!

Juggling studies(when it was so bad), my emotions, CG, everything that happen under the sun hadn't been easy... if not for God I wouldn't have pulled through.
I saw my results.. Thank God that I'm able to keep my ass in Uni still... reminding myself the billions out there who are struggling to get a chance to know ABC.. And here I am, able to widen my views and learnt alot more in the varsity. This is perhaps the simplest point I should at least be grateful for each day... each day that I live.. the air that i breathe. Thank God with a grateful heart :)

*the reason why i repeat some things... cos i wrote a large part of this reflection a very long time ago.. cant be bothered to read it and refine it..neither do I have the stamina to contd..so haha :P tata!

This past week had been quite a mental torture due to the overwhelming things to handle. Perhaps not so much things to handle, but all the thoughts at the back of my mind.
The incidents that happened are rather personal so I wouldn't list them here.

Cried.Complained.Prayed.Apologized.Learnt.Praise.Changing.

This list of words cannot express fully what I have gone through but in essence, these were roughly what I could think of.

This whole week's episode has taught me humility, honesty and edification of another person. My pride has caught alot of troubles and regrets, my words because of pride and uncontrolled moods had caused discord and misunderstanding.
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Eph 4:29 This particular verse has never come across so strongly to me than this period. How true is that. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."Pro 15:1
A haughty heart is detestable before God. (Proverbs 21:4) At the receiving end of words that were not entirely kind myself, I shouldnt have said much to another person what I do not like to bear as well. We are all humans with a heart that's breakable afterall. And no wonder God said speak only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs and only those that benefit those who listen..because even if you speak on just your own experience, things may turn ugly because you didnt have others' interest at heart and words spread... they are scary. To be able to edify others is to clothe ourselves with humility and put others first. Which probably is the hardest things to do ever. Yet again, if Christ hasnt put on that humility, we'll still be under the wrath of God... Christ died for us when we were all sinners.

Watched the ::Prince Caspian:: yesterday, I must say that C.S. Lewis is truly a gifted writer, imaginer(ok..if there's such a word) and also a faithful believer of the Christian faith. Maybe I entered the theatre with a certain 'christianly' perception of the movie, traces of biblical stories and godly principles, relationship with God, man's sinful nature penetrated throughout that 2.5h. And the movie taught me a good lesson..together with all the recent happenings. I'm beginning to admire the way CS Lewis thinks as he writes his stories.. even his children stories carry very deep meaning behind every plot, every conversation.

I saw so many parallels of my life in this Lewis story. I saw my own pride in Peter's pride, unbelief & being in own comfort zone like those of Susan's, Edmund's determination & decision to crush the white witch(which I suppose it was Satan), Lucy's desire and pure heart to see Azlan, her sincere seeking has led her to find her love, her assurance, peace and joy. Sometimes I'm like Lucy & Edmund... but more often than not, I find myself in situations like Peter and Susan.. Peter's pride and self centered way led into unnecessary and terrible consequences, especially when Lucy had reminded him Azlan was the one who truly defeated the white witch and they should wait and seek Azlan to lead this war against their enemies and return the Narnians their kingdom.
Peter and Caspian were tempted by the White Witch and those that pledged loyalty to her. It shows how the Witch make them doubt and at the same time spoke things & offer them what their hearts wanted, especially when the line drawn between right and wrong becomes very fine.It was a perfect analogy how Satan tempts us..... only when Edmund broke that thick piece of ice in which White Witch was residing in, can Peter see Azlan.
I pray that I'll have the same desire as Lucy, as much as she wants to see Azlan, talk to him, be with him, I want to too, see God, talk to God, listen to Him, be with Him. And then we'll both know nothing beats time spent with Him alone, because he knows best and he'll give us the best. I pray also that even if I have to go to Him alone.. I will.

K overall if you like actions, if you like stronger war plots/strategies, cuter characters, more magnificent scenes.. then i guess you'll like the 2nd story of the Chronicles of Narnia more than the 1st one :P

PS..I'm havin a very bad headache and feeling nausea.. so some stuff written today may seem very incoherent.. so sorry :X heh

“没有神我也是这样活!"

认识了神, 你的生活也肯定会好过一点吧...至少能让生命更有意义, 至少有了神, 当今世界和身边周遭的事也会因有神的存在, 神的参与, 变得明确, 有意思, 有了深一层的体会,了解,谅解...

可是.. 你坚持不去理会...坚持着自己无神的立场...

因为你的神,
你所崇拜的，

就是你自己...



她真的不知道那句随性脱口而出的话有多伤神...也伤了人..我吃了一惊..

心想..


好大的胆子.


好大的口气.



我有一些失落, 有些彷徨...完全无助...

真是心有预, 而力不足啊...

难道大舅的突发心脏病, 送进医院, 从死门关绕一圈的经历不够让她至少"谢天谢地" 吗? 而，天与地是伟大精明的创造主所小心编制出的, 不应该感谢神吗? 你说是医生救了他, 又说是表弟及时回到家，发现了不适的老爸,大舅才能死里逃生。。有这么巧的事吗？

如果没有神, 世界就不应该有死人。。

神让他死，多十个医生也救不回；神让他活，表弟表妹不回家，不在家，活上个1000年也不是问题。。。大舅的遭遇真的不关神的事吗？

这些我都藏在心里..什么也没说去口..即使说了...或许只是白费唇舌..。换来得反而是一连串对神对我的不满。。

我不想吵架。。。

更不想因为这样而让她更憎恨为她舍命的耶稣基督。。。


改变。



祷告。



盼望。



爱。

Well.. its not much of a big deal actually, life goes on. Just that when you hit 21, your birthday celebration this particular year increases in scale I guess and everyone expects more of you.. So, is turning 21 really that great? I am now officially responsible for all my actions legally, no more room for mistakes... hmmm?

So how did I celebrate my entering of the adulthood?

10 May(Sat) with ECFers(YaoHui, Shuyi, Michelle, Chee Eng) @ Hemisphere Cafe & Huien later at PS Cafe:D















My Fav PIC! hee

More ::


Thanks for all the effort... hee I guessed they all wanted to make this a surprise but because of the constant changing of dates(the CG gathering must be like before 1405) and the rush in having my cake cut before Yaohui leaves.. I had figured it out way before they wished me happy birthday:) hahaha Remember I was part of ur surprise birthday celebration for YaoHui, Michelle?? How could I have not guessed it on Saturday? hee Thanks everyone anw :D really appreciated it :P

12 May (Mon) @ No Sign Board with my family.. the food was simply AWESOME!!..P.S. the new branch at Geylang..just less than 10 of us..we finished close to 10 dishes with 2 craby dishes! nuff said.. pics!

Oopx my hands buay zhai... blur photos.. maybe cos im too eager to eat them!! :P







See the happy faces?? :D Its my mum's bday actually.. the dinner is for her... (& i get to rip them off... lalalala such good food!!)








Well.. On this day... the terrible earthquake wiped out 34,000(death toll as of 19Jun,8pm) living in SiChuan, China too... :x

14/05/08 (wed) Today's the day la :P

Went out for an early breakfast with parents ..was raining so was apprehensive if our plan later in the day should still be carried out.. We are going to take a ride on the Singapore Flyer with my monster cousin hee

But before that.. since it was raining, decided to catch IRONMAN with my dad (cos my mum's not interested..) im sure she must have regretted not coming with us after hearing all my praises about that movie. It was the best movie that i've ever watched lately! The graphics were not too bad, I thought the story line was fine, the actions were great, and technology...100marks! hee
No one checked our tickets when we walked into the theatre lo... then I wondered why did I even buy it.. see my intact cinema tickets :
Yup.. went to the new Downtown East Cathay to watch it :) pretty cozy there hee

Subsequently went to pick my mum and cousin and off to the flyer!




















O I must show you all my prized photo of the day... will update soon :P Hmm.. the view on the flyer wasn't fantastic though esp when it was a cloudy day.. Wonder why we went also. But it was a good trip nevertheless :P And this special day ended with a beautiful sunset :D

15/05 (Thurs) was out with Carolyn :D Cafe Cartel at Plaza Sing... she gave me a bday treat and we had some good catching up and fellowship =) too bad... we forgot to take photos.. despite both our efforts in bringing our cams deliberately for the specially arranged lunch date.. :X
Then had game com meeting after that.. bumped into Esther and Jem when I left Cathay Picturehouse.. Such a coincidence! hee They just came back from Taiwan and asked me out for a movie. Obviously I cant cos I had meeting...and then I bumped into Esther (literally) haha Life is full of pleasant surprises hur hee

16/05 (Fri) supposed to have lunch with Ee Yang..but I cancelled it.. wanted to rest at home, ended up at Centrepoint for some facial session instead. Sorry Ee Yang!! :X Had dinner with TJ badminton girls and Uncle Andrew(our coach). It does remind me of the days when we had to work really hard together to fight RJ...the times we ran in the TJ carpark, did umpteen times of footwork, endless PT, well and also our supper treat, half the time, generously provided by our dearest Uncle Andrew :P And so they celebrated my 21st birthday with a real proper cake :p

More::(update soon!)

17/05 (Sat) Had another celebration with the TJ 27/04 clique, Angry boy boy, Ultraman & yiming at Mind's Cafe and dinner at TCC

Its been so long since we had so much fun together :D reminded of the slacking breaks I had with eddie, Alvin, Adora, Yuyan and hmm who else? when the rest are having econs... hee the nonsense we talked about during recesses... with mingcai, nicholas, sharon, nicole.. The jogs and runs intended to outbeat each other with nicole hee And then Sharon left for NAFA..Nicholas left for TP... now we're all together again! at Mind's cafe... screaming and shouting during the silly dinosaur game haha (I want to go again!!) Then had dinner at TCC... too bad we didnt take any photos of the food.. It was really good and some had their food layout so pretty that you hardly want to eat them hee. I had a Ice cream Mudpie as a stand in for the bday cake hee

Here it is : oopx.. pic not with me now. will update it soon..








And we're done~ :p








After which Ultraman(Chion Chiat) drove (some of us) to Timbre..
See.. he drove so fast... couldnt see where he was going lo... :P (jk!)







unfortunately they had a private function til 10pm that night... went Ice Cold at SMU instead.. not too bad an open pub.. pretty clean for one in school too hee.. eh didnt take any photos there...
To think that the night ended with some lame game at the pub... and all expenses paid for, they gave me another surprise.. the gifts :D Frankly I didnt think there were still gifts.. I was satisfied and grateful for the dinner and company. Thanks for the cap, pencil case & Adora's perfume(cos she always buy what she likes for me haha just like the pink shiny nail polish!!! :P) Thanks for the tremendous night :D



Thanks for the ear rings Aunty Ling Ling and of cos the book from James and Dearest :D Thanks to all who send birthday wishes. Thanks to Aunty Lily and Uncle Ben & grandma for your gifts. Thanks to my mum and dad! for all these years and (of cos for giving birth to me)...

Last but not least.. Thanks to God for making all these possible and my wretched life now blessed =D

"MYANMAR TIGHTENS ACCESS TO DISASTER ZONE"

screams the headline under cyclone news today...

"MYANMAR tightened access to the cyclone disaster zone Wednesday, turning back foreigners and ignoring pleas to accept the outside experts who could save countless lives before time runs out."

And death toll or missing people..can be more than 200, 000 by far...

And those who needed help..protection from probable infectious diseases that may break out under such ill conditions...food...a shelter over their heads...

"CHINA WARNS OF BURST DAMS AS QUAKE DEATH TOLL RISES TO 15, 000"

screams another headline...

* Death toll nearly 15,000, expected to rise
* 25,000 still buried in rubble
* 50,000 troops sent as search for survivors quickens
* Warnings of calamities from blocked rivers, strained dams
* Corruption watchdog vows to punish officials seen shirking rescue work
*Cost could reach $20b, says disaster modelling firm

A 7.8-magnitude earthquake shook the grounds of the growing economic lion just a few days after the cyclone swept clean the lands of Myanmar... Looking at these...Tsunami that happened in 2004 seems to pale in comparison. Human fragility...in the light of these natural disasters..who can claim now that humans are the best and in control of our fate and future?

Who... is/are to be blamed for such disasters? I'm sure humans too must have played a significant role in this...by causing the hole in the atmosphere, changing the climate yada yada yada..

And there the junta, playing hard to get.. how many more lives do they want to take in order to allow full international aid? They either abuse them or now..let them die, even during such trying periods.

Today I watched Ironman. Its awesome! Yet it reflected a stunning truth. Many times the weapons/inventions we had made are perhaps the very things that kill us. I drew some real life parallels from the movie like how we have destroyed the earth to such a large extent and we're now trying to make it up by doing the little that we can. But it seems too late.. the earth is already in a very bad shape when we realised it. Tony Stark had though his proud inventions that had contributed greatly to his country's army ended up discovering how these had turned ugly and destroyed millions of his own people and taken innocent lives. When he realised it, I guessed it was too late too.. and with his own strength..how was he able to pick up the already broken pieces? hmm... am i making sense here.. its late im tired.. haha k shd go slp now :X cannot contd alr :p

I'm currently half way through Ordering your Private World by Gordon MacDonald. It is a fairly insightful and resourceful book to help me reflect and re evaluate my inner world. But... honestly.. the reading had been quite interrupted because I just didnt have the discipline sit down and read it once through or at least faithfully finish one section of the book.. (there's 5 sections)

MacDonald talks about a Christian's motivation of ordering the innermost (it is, to some extent, quite logical why we have to organise our inner world, even to non christians..because basically, it is the one that lasts u longer... what's external/upfront in everyday life can be just a false front haha or an illusion?), the use of time(God given resources), wisdom and knowledge(christians arent thinking very much these days..), spiritual strength and restoration(haven read these 2 aspects).

What struck me very hard today was about growing as a thinker. He suggested we grow by becoming listeners, readers and disciplined students(study). He raised an important concern..how half the time communication just means, we ourselves talking and not willing to sit at others' feet and humble ourselves enough to ask the right questions and listen. I thought.. when was the last time I asked the right questions and listen intently to my mum in order to get to know her. As much as I've always told God I want her to come to know Christ, I've never really presented Christ to her in terms of such care. Perhaps she just needed someone to ask the right questions and know her. Especially her daughter. I'm guilty and ashamed to have failed in this area. I really do not know what to ask... and then I will have a nagging concern.. that she might not respond properly anyway. My mum's like that. She can be quite sarcastic at times or lame.. so stimes simple questions from me do not always get a simple answer in return. Its quite a challenge for me not to lose my patience and ARGH! be kind and take it slowly.
It has never bothered me enough to ask her about her loves and hates... (you know? the questions you ask your newfound friends... the way you want to get to know more about them?) It has never occurred to me to treat her and pacify her like how i pacify my friends.... Lord... please help me to do something about it, wisely.
I read a short article on how Jay Chou treated her mum as his forever lover.. and so he bought her a card on mothers' day, whispered sweet nothings on it and it made her day.. as simple as that.. He purposely told her mum that he's not going home on valentine's (perhaps due to work) but he planned a fireworks display just right outside his house for his mother... that's so sweet right.. I'm ashamed to say that I've wanted to make a card... but.. I didnt. not even a simple card and I made her angry many a times.. simple things like.. reading my book under a yellow light..heh.
:x I need to do sth about it... Like what Joshua Harris did to get to know more about his then-gf, current wife, I ought to keep a little book about my mum too.. 101 questions to get to know her... like... getting to know a potential spouse.. I'll need to consciously tell myself how to love her because she's my mum and because God loves her too, as much as He loves me. Not forgetting my dad too :P

Some random thoughts from the MacDonald's book...

Thinking is a great work. It is best done with a mind that has trained & is in shape just as competitive running is done with a body that has trained and is in shape. The best kind of thinking is accomplished when it is done in the context of reverence for God's kingly reign over all creation. It is sad to see great thinking and artistic work accomplished by man and woman who have no interest in uncovering knowledge of the Creator.

Unthinking christian does not realise it(fear of thinking will lead to amusement, function without thinking), but is dangerously absorbed into the culture about him. A Mind untrained n unfulfilled, lacks the ability to produce the hard questions with which the world needs to be challenged.

Harry Blamires in his insightful book called The Christian Mind wrote :
Christianity is emasculated of its intellectual relevance. It remains a veicle of spirituallity and moral guidance at the individual level perhaps; at the communal level is is little more than an expression of sentimentalized togetherness.
The fear today is that we fool ourselves into thinking that we are thinking people when we are not... and as we don't think and practise "christianly" about great moral issues, we can fall easily fall prey to the propaganda of a non christian scheme of things, led by people who have not neglected powers.

Being good stewards of our resources(brain,wisdom). Christian thinking look at all issues and ideas from the standpoint of what God desires and what might give honour to Him.

Thinking Christianly without a renewal of our commitment to Christ leads to a deadness of religion, a boring faith, an ineffective witness to God. And we who have grown up with the gospel of Christ have to be very careful to avoid this. The mind must be trained to pursue information, ideas and insights for the purpose of serving the people of the public world.

It occurred to me this morning that the cyclone can be, yes, a blessing in disguise.. that more people will come to know the love of Christ. Some say, where then is the love of God in events like this? How about looking it in another perspective? In such devastation, Myanmar finally allowed international aids and more people(& missionaries) can enter the country and more locals will come to hear the gospel... and finally understand the love of God? To the millions and next generations who can hear the gospel as compared to thousands that had died... which is more worthwhile? Of cos I'm not saying that the thousands deserved to die.. but are we too proud as mere humans to think that we don't deserve to die altogether? Are we as great as the One who had crafted the heavens and the earth? If man sin... and the punishment is death, den it is only logical that judgment and death comes to all... whether one fear that judgment and death at the end of the day depends really on what we hold on to..simply put, our beliefs.

"dearTY" asked "are there not christians in Myanmar? so why was the same 'god' merciless and cruel to them?" Can a dead person blame God now for being merciless and cruel? What the future holds for this person who is now physically lifeless to us is for that person to know and for us to find out in the future, i suppose. Isn't a person who is physically alive yet dead spiritually/empty inside, all the more, lifeless & scary? God is merciless and cruel was to you and not to them, that's because you see this happening. Christians believe they are with Jesus, now and forevermore, it doesnt matter whether you're dead or alive physically. Just that when u're physically alive, you have responsibilities in this world and you have to handle them because its God-given, isn't it? And those physically dead...Well I suppose there's other responsibilities in heaven..?For those who are physically alive after the catastrophy, may wonder why.. but ultimately.. those who believed will come out stronger because they knew God will see them through.. trials..the testing of our faith, their faith in this case.. to mould the christians,to be mature, complete, and not lacking anything(James1:2-4).. And how they can still enjoy that joy and peace in their inner world even when the external is in a big mess... and for them to contd to serve God and testify for Him because He has kept their lives on earth..

Well this is just my own opinion.. it may not even be wholesome. I would like to suggest that, at the end of the day, it is not up to me or anyone to decide if God is being merciless or merciful, cruel or not because im in no position to because im no greater than He who places the stars where He wants, than He who tears the temple down and build it up again in 3 days.. Man is sinful and that is undeniable. To those who have died, it is up to God to decide where he/she proceeds from there... will you know? I would rather than be thanking God for my preserved life and live to tell others about His grace that has sustained my everyday...and yours too :)

....Hundreds of thousands of people have been left without shelter and drinking water in military-ruled Myanmar after the devastating cyclone tore through the Irrawaddy delta, a United Nations official said on Monday.
'We know that it's several hundred thousand needing shelter and clean drinking water, but how many hundred thousand we just don't know,' Mr Richard Horsey, of the United Nations disaster response office in Bangkok, said.

.....

'Where are all those uniformed people who are always ready to beat civilians?' a trishaw driver, who refused to be identified for fear of retribution, said on Sunday. 'They should come out in full force and help clean up the areas and restore electricity.'
Myanmar, also known as Burma, has been under military rule since 1962. Its government has been widely criticised for human rights abuses and suppression of pro-democracy parties.
Last September, at least 31 people were killed and thousands more were detained when the military cracked down on peaceful protests led by Buddhist monks and democracy advocates.
The Forum for Democracy in Burma and other dissident groups outside of Myanmar urged the military junta Sunday to allow aid groups to operate freely in the wake of the cyclone - something it has been reluctant to do in the past.
It would be difficult for other countries to help unless they received a request from Myanmar's military rulers.
'International expertise in dealing with natural disasters is urgently required. The military regime is ill-prepared to deal with the aftermath of the cyclone,' said Mr Naing Aung, secretary general of the Thailand-based forum.
The storm's 120 mph winds blew the roofs off hospitals and cut electricity to the country's largest city.
Ms Shari Villarosa, the top American diplomat in Yangon, said the storm's whipping winds and torrential downpour had caused 'major devastation throughout the city.'...

after reading the news of cyclone hit in Myanmar, I come to realised how gracious and merciful God had been with Singapore. Wikipedia explained the complexity of how cyclones are formed. After reading it, I cannot NOT relate this catastrophic occurrence to God. What are the chances of having the right temperature and pressure supplied to those random water particles to form a whirlwind so strong and destructive, unless God had allowed it? I wonder, why myanmar, then a friend asked me why not? Its like why tsunami hit achay and not singapore? If the earthquake hit slightly off the exact location where it had occurred, Singapore would have submerged, considering she is so small, wouldnt she? Can we just attribute it to our auspicious geographical location or it was really by the grace of God that Singapore was exclusively sheltered?

Was that a warning from God about the sinfulness of man? First was Thailand and now Burma..Buddhism dominated countries... idolatry..could it be? i wonder where will the next place be..would it be soon..? This is disturbing...

I was appalled too, at they way the junta treats their own people. They basically abuse their civilians. If I were a resident there, I'll probably hope for death too with such a corrupted and violent government.

Junta still ignoring visa and flight requests

IN BANGKOK - MYANMAR'S junta yesterday continued to ignore requests for visas and flight approvals from several countries and organisations, severely hampering the international aid response to the cyclone disaster in the country.

Asean tested once again by the generals
SIX days after a killer cyclone hit Myanmar, Asean has just begun to pressure its member to allow in international aid and aid workers quickly.

The junta refused international humanitarian aids and impedes the rescue work in its own country..how dumb and irresponsible is that! But I think the Junta is allowing it now.. On the other hand, another article reports how this devastation can be a source of economic revival as it may boosts rice harvest(Straits Times). How ironic to have these 2 pieces of news appearing on the same page! How ironic is it to have food harvest and economical revival matched up to the death of thousands and counting...Some may argue.. there's nothing you can do about the disaster neither can you do anything about those dead people so we should be looking at how the living can survive because of that cyclone! And they call it blessings in disguise.. Are you that desensitized too? Have you got any heart or compassion for people in general?

Some food for thoughts..

I guessed we should really be very grateful that God had been merciful to keep our lives in this small little country. Lets be watchful of our own lives and contd to share the good news to those around and even across the borders, and pray for them before a potential 'cyclone' hits them..

*disclaimer : all articles and references are taken from 'The Straits Times'

I guessed im just exhausted...mentally and physically... reacting in such an explosive manner. I had two papers on two consecutive days so basically chiong and study one module after another.. and then Z dropped me an emotional bomb like that. So now im emotionally drained as well. I've been trying not to think about it but it's kinda impossible. I replied and really pray that by God's grace, i'll be fine and this friendship continues. Well, I wouldn't see him any time soon anyway, neither will I see him so much next semester. Thank God our paths crossed. Thank God we learnt, we grew.

The same issue lingered a while, got it off for some time during dinner and after that I face it again. I'll still have to answer to your question, what do I think ya..?

It breaks my heart honestly to have known that you thought of it this way. Perhaps you have been paranoid and past experiences tell you that we were getting too close. I am aware of what the whole gang is talking about yet i'm not overly concerned because I am clear of what I am doing. Maybe unknowingly deep down I've crossed the line, maybe you did i dunno; but I'm sure whenever I interact with you, I know where I stand. I agree that we should guard our hearts to protect this friendship but a wiser way for you to have presented it to me perhaps could be more subtle. The things you tell me makes me feel like I've intentionally do something and it spoils it all. I know you don't mean it that way, but still..

Isn't it great to find someone who shares the same value and stuff to be around sharing your problems and joy all because of our Lord Jesus? I really treasure the times we talked about Christ and I've learnt alot from you. Shouldn't we be explaining to them why and how this stronger bond was forged? Because of a pure and transparent heart?

You said I was pretty wise and prudent in that I was being inclusive rather than exclusive, in avoiding inconvenient and uncomfortable situations. It wasn't even intentional! But there's seriously nothing to hide! I've asked you time and again about J to understand how she is seeing this whole issue. And was there even any inconvenient and unruly situations? Well not to me...Yet now... this is what you think?

I'm a person who's easy to read. What I've given upfront is probably who I am. Haven't you realised after these conversations? Why I was able to be sharing so freely and comfortable is really because I trusted you and there's just basically no other ill intentions or hidden agenda... or some hidden crush on you(for all we know).

Firstly I do not think that this friendship is going wayward maybe because I've been mixing around with so many guys. And you should know that I'm a simple person. (Everyone knows that!) So its just as simple as that. And my heart lies with God, my eyes fixed on Christ... I'm sure, you do(right?im assuming) and honour that. I cannot draw a line between oversharing and sharing.. just because I treat you the same as any other close friends, whether guy or girl. So just don't be paranoid. Maybe it lies with the problem that i'm the only child.. and also with my impulsion..I say things without thinking... aiya I dunno la..

I can only tell you that... after this.. perhaps our friendship will not be the same anymore. It will not be as free as before, or as comfortable. I dunno why it hurts so much and my eyes welled but it does. And I cried the moment i thought of it...frankly I felt like I lost my best friend and a kin. Its as if a playmate telling you she cant play with you anymore because she cant return the same amount of love and care and things you had shared with her and she'll probably thinks you are falling in love with her because you gave so much. But that was just out of a genuine heart that I treasure you as a friend and I NEED, yes, I guessed because I needed a friend/brother(since I dun have any siblings) too, and you're hard to come by. I'm grateful though that you made an effort to let me know and of cos I cannot forgot the statement you made about how "guys are usually more unreliable than you realize"...

You've helped me alot, be it academically or spiritually or even relationship wise and I'm thankful for that. I doubt I can face you with the same attitude and 'carefreeness' after this but I can assure you, brother, that for your sake... I'll keep a distance..
I dunno how to deal with this so I really pray God will help me. Because I'll dwell into either extremes, either to give my heart or retract it altogether.Will contd to pray for you and j..

I'm sorry.

i attempted to start a blog with wordpress but i kinda failed...
I just didn't know how to operate it... -_-" but that blogskin was perhaps better than this current one hee.

Well initially I wanted to pen down some thoughts about the modules I've been ploughing through these days, but now I'm running out of time since I've spent all of them exploring wordpress... :S MAN! perhaps later if i have the time...ciaoz