a little bit of awareness
a little bit more conscious
a little bit more loving
a little bit more care

a world full of evil
by words we think it's trivial
a forest of fire
careless during trials

was i seeking attention
not that it's on purpose
perhaps just the enjoyment
when my actions were captured

im sorry but i do sin everyday
it's scary cos to God i dunno what to say
So forgiveness i have to pray
To be God centered and obey
Rather than self centered ending in dismay

how do i control myself?
or is it just having self control?
i guess its more than just so
it's my heart that i have to surrender
my body, my all, my soul

when i see my brothers and sisters so good with God's word
i wonder if i've really been a Christian
why have i confused my friend with my good intention
have i forgotten about the Spirit work and relied on my own action?
I want to understand and explain to others about God clearly
and i need to study the bible thoroughly
little wonder now if i'm going to study for the sake of competing with others
or really with the motive of knowing Him deeper and to be a better teacher

who can truly understand me
who can fathom my inner thoughts and struggle
who is able to encourage me without fail
who can stand by me forever
a friend?parents?a boyfriend?
if there is one person who is able to
Perhaps He is none other than Jesus Christ my Lord and Saviour

graciously, God sprinkles daily blessings on me..
How fortunate am I to have Him holding my hand walking beside me..
rain or shine.

being a Christian is tough... being a Christian who tries to please God, please man and please herself is impossible...
being a Christian is against the world.. no matter how tough my life is going to be, God please help me to be discerning and loving. it's not me to love cos i'm borned a sinner,i'll rebel naturally..

The results are out.. quite impressed with the rate the tutors are going to mark our scripts. Thanks... tutors~ not very well done though. If i were to consider the understanding of the quesitons and the topic itself.. i did rather badly.. ultimately it's still about myself whom i have to overcome.. being a little bit more diligent and a little bit more determined to do a little bit better...lolx.nice :P but then.. just to console myself.. the papers are rather tough.. that im not going to deny! Even the tutors say so!! certain parts are just killers. Just to quote Miss Denise Wong.."Manageable ah..." Tingyu :"Cos is you ma..." bleahz.. this yr 1 chem relief tutor is really zai! anw.. i've got 42 for bio, 43 for chem and 75 for maths. Maths was the easiest among the papers.. I was afraid of careless mistakes though cos im a SUPER careless person. N there was certainly a handful of sub questions that i didnt know how to do.. Well, to those who think im boasting.. no la. Im not. It's just through practising and really it was God's blessing.. jus try to spend enough time to juggle maths practice lo.. blessings... cos i din touch maths at all the night b4 cos i was struggling with chem..ya

Come to think of it, it was really God's blessings... never will i have imagined that i'll get such results. 2 weeks before the exams i was still playing badminton and trying to get rid of that addiction.Then by God's grace, i realised my priorities and decided to study. But meanwhile was still going out with different group of friends for ministry work and other things..

Im trying to get used to school life again.. it's tiring to get up so early in the morning now esp when my usual time to get up was 9+am during the holidays.. oh man! then trying to find the momentum to get back to work haha. its gonna be easier than the time right after the badminton season was over :) thank God!

O yuyan went for the gp lesson with Ailing and im glad that it was helpful for her. gonna ask ppl to go n watch the documentary movie about the noah's ark with me soon.. den i can book the tix... it's late le.. im gonna sleep soon. o ya n im going to have my teeth checked on the 18th july.. morning.. sigh.got to miss sch in the morning.. n reach outram at 8AM IN THE MORNING..it's worse than going to sch i think.. all the best to me haha.

ok.. blog.jus blog. im in school now n im quite 'seh'...tired la. Went for outing marathon yesterday.. went kbox den 'War of the Worlds' den chit chat session..not really a marathon but it wore me out. The songs kept ringing in my head and i cant sleep at night. End up sleeping at 2am and woke up feeling like a zombie this morning.haha

it was my 1st time in kbox yest. tot it was kinda cool haha.like it.maybe should visit to sing someday soon :P War of the worlds was pretty good too.. i tot the filming was awesome and Steven Spielberg(dunno if it's spelt this way..) really has his way of capturing all the huge destruction scene, very captivating. The thriller kept me in suspense and though i din quite understand the ending.. i did after my literature friend told me about it. haha so if u are going to watch that movie.. get a lit person to go with u haha.

oh.. it's the start of real school term today and it means i have to start my engine studying too... despite all the unwillingness...ARGhhh.. ok it's gonna be over soon.Dream of the goal, look at the end!! haha

Got my bio papers back... n it was 41.5.. did badly i noe.. it jus goes to show that im really terrible in analysing the questions and ya.. no content or wadsoever to ans it.. The point is after writing chunks and chunks of relevant-content-filled paragraphs.. the tutor pointed out to me that i missed the exact words... AHhhh.. that means i have to memorise really word for word of pages and pages of bio notes... i think i'll go crazy. But everyone else who takes bio will too though..haha esp those S ppl.lolx....

want to play badminton.. but im afraid that i'll miss the shuttle anw after stopping for a mth :"P Aiyah.. basically thinking that i have to be stuck with my books for the next 2-4 mths.. im just..!!!!!!

ok. time to console myself.. God is always there for me ah.. he's there for everyone.. haha. just that ppl dunno lor.. im going to PERSEVERE!!!

yay~ mid years over yesterday.. 2 papers at a go.so tired.
overall the papers are tough but i guess 'doable' la... all i can say is i did my best.. n got to leave the rest in God's hands ;) anw.there's nth much i can do about it now. failing not the end of the world hah... looking forward to As.. 3 more mths and it's here. scary.got to start preparing.
just told Aunt Lily... if there's something you wan to do.. try to do it well even if it's not a competition. Though we cant master all trades but we can at least try our best to attempt them right.. not at all bad. Esp when it comes to doing it for the right motive. For God.
It's been tiring going through all the studies and chionging papers at the last min, it's like sprinting 1km lo.Lactic acid n oxygen debt incurred so much that i dun feel like moving anymore.Kinda picked up the momentum for studying alr, but i'll lose it soon. haha
4 days of exams n 5 days holidays.. what more can i ask for man. this is cool. but 5 days are not enough for me to catch up with 'long lost' friends and do my ministry.. it's never enough la.
im physically tired.. whenever im tired, more often than not, i lose my concentration....den i'll drag on n on with my nonsense.. when im tired, i dun feel like doing anything at all.. that includes praying...
These few days had been great.. found my way back to God and learnt that only God's grace can give us Jesus, give us faith. to be saved. I really miss my relationship with God...