oooo im so tempted to post all the photos that i've taken recently... but NOOOO ... I've got to study.. later will be busy all the way til the night and im not going to bring that thick chem textbk back... arghhh... stop procrastinating tingyu!!

k.. -cool- go study!

Anticipation.

blogging on a blissful saturday morning! :) it's raining.. im in hall woohoo..I love rainy days when I'm indoors.. read a book or jus do my work hee
had a wonderful time with God and His people jus now~ its always a blessing to do that!

The first thing i came across during my quiet time is Psalm 1..
it reminds me of how I should be living and praise the Lord, I feel so peaceful when I read this. May God also work in the hearts of all who read this psalm.

Blessed is the man

who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked

or stand in the way of sinners

or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the Lord,

and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither.

Whatever he does prospers.

Not so the wicked!

They are like chaff that the wind blows away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,

nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,

but the way of the wicked will perish.

its 10+ pm.. and i need to do my work.. but i cant help but blog this entry after reading the entry from a friend's blog.

I'm upset.. i admit.. so upset that I teared. (ok im a crybaby k..and my face usually speaks of whats in my heart :X)
I'm upset not because of the content. Neither is it because of what he speaks about what I believe in.. but it's just sth about his life that upsets me.. perhaps its his thoughts and his heart (i think) that affect me so much.. I cant explain what.. but I feel it, i try to rationalise it..

is the freedom that you are asking for a true freedom?
why do you experience the sadness and emptyness that I find can be easily overcome?
by posting that entry.. is that your way of saying you respect individualism when you attack others implicitly?
by saying what you want, doing what you please, is that respect? is that what you call freedom?

you call me philosophical.. you may call me staunch.. whatever the case.. it is your life that Im interested in, it is your values that I'm truly concerned..this is what i believe in. LOVE. im not being noble, i just want to share a love that changes me totally.

I dont know why you are going round and round in a circle and commenting on everything that doesnt seem to go your way.. heck caring every other thing that you have the least interest in. have you ever truly care for a person without any returns? have you truly love..here im not talking about bgr. just friendship,kinship.. have you done what is best for others even at the expense of your own interest, self sacrifice. again... im not being noble. Im not talking about perfect love. Who doesnt desire to have one.. but why insist on love is for losers.. would you rather be a loser in exchange for love? i would...

It puzzles me why you would continue to live this way when it has shown once and again its going no where.. you get frustrated again and again.. why.. it upsets me even as a friend to see these struggles.. seeing what you deem wonderful for your life. is this the happiness you told me once u wanted?

have you finally realise what upsets me?or am i wrong about something's very wrong about your life value and perspective?I'm not a philosopher.. neither am I a judge...
perhaps u'll say i'm being overly concerned, perhaps u'll say i have no rights.. fine.. but i still hope, and i pray... you'll take this seriously..



"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles. Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator--who is forever praised. Amen. Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion. Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them." Rom 1:18-32

Yet...........

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." " John 3:16-21

true isnt it..that men prefer darkness than light...? I admit.. im not the good,sweet girl you see next door.. simply I cant deny I'm utterly rotten inside, selfcentered and whatever you can think of...But TODAY I care as your friend, Because He cared for me.He cares for you.

just a quick entry...

I've sorta decided not to go for M.E.E.T.... prayed and asked God for wisdom after what mu shi said yesterday.. It bothered me for quite some time. I've decided to give it a miss afterall. Maybe this is exactly where God wants me to grow. To let go, I need to let God do what He is pleased with. it's amazing how God sends his assurance when Kayan suddenly tells me that she is not going for MEET too... she say this doesnt seem to be where God wants her to be. Well, its not like im going because of my friends.. but that was part of the reasons.. I would have preferred to go through the intensive training with a group of friends rather than alone.. but wouldnt mind going for it alone if I really want it hard.
Thinking back, my heart goes out to the eusoffians and i'll definitely want to be a good witness at home too.. so.. ya... I remember what Mu shi tell me.. 有心就不怕迟... it's true.. If God has placed in me a heart that yearns for his word and mission... He'll provide the way for me. Amen! :)

Back to what happen today.. was quite a tiring day though. Went to help 吴教练 in the morning. OH i miss those kids kk... miss teaching them, having fun with them! haha then went home, rush to pass Junde the router.. yeah n now i can get a new laser printer! which means.. i can print my notes faster~~yay yay..heh Then after resting for some time, went back to NUS for IFG. Played with SDE today...won.. gonna meet Engine during the next game... Hopefully we can get into the finals.. :) will meet biz then. Its kinda weird though..partnering an ex ahs senior in a doubles match.. and playing as if we've known each other for ages.. haha.. but it was fun! with another ex ahs senior umpiring my match!cool ya... ;) haha.. i miss my secondary school days too....

Ok.. now im going to enjoy my UNI life.. im going to enjoy life.. this breath that God has given! All the way Abba Daddy!! ;)

I fell in love with this picture the moment i saw it.. outstanding little yellow smiley :) :)
It reminds me of how I ought to respond to my Master's command of being salt of the earth, light of the world.. In complete darkness.. even a ray of light is enough.

Standing out for Jesus, shining as little light.
To love when others hate, to give when others take...

Went church today.. thank God, my mum didnt say anything.. hope that she has already gave up telling me not to go.. Praise the Lord :P .. pray that God will continue to soften her heart and one day! she'll come to know the wonderful Creator! ;)
Today's message was again on evangelism.. Pastor was saying how we ought to be like Paul to be OBLIGATED to both the Greeks and non-Greeks, both the wise and the foolish.being eager to preach the gospel..
Obligated because the gospel is entrusted to us by God to those who are lost..
Pastor gave an analogy that caught my attention(i was vvv tired and sleepy at that time). He said its like someone who owes my father 500 bucks and that person pass the money to me so i can pass it to my dad.. though i dun owe my dad that money, i have a duty to return it to him. I have tasted the goodness of God, I have been entrusted the precious message of the gospel from the Father. I need to pass it to those who are supposed to receive the message and be saved. I owe it.. to both the wise and the foolish. N while all christians are called to live the gospel, spread the good news, how many actually do it wholeheartedly..?
"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. " Rom 1: 16 Indeed, it is by the grace of God and power of God to change the heart of a man... to repent and become citizen of the kingdom of heaven. It is never the work of man. I am not ashamed of my God.. I love Him!

Today, wanted to ask youth pastor to endorse my MEET form(Mission education and exposure training).. 9mths.. it's intensive and i need to channel more effort to my schoolwork, he advised me not to go.. for the sake of my witness here. i dont have to spend my time overseas to experience God and learn.. perhaps this is exactly where God wants me to learn. Perhaps i need to let go and let God... He told me about his own experience.. he told me alot other things... I thank God for him..I'm still thinkin about it.. I need prayers.. I need wisdom.. God help me! what is your will.. what do you want me to do....

 

ok blog blog :)
yesterday's chem prac was amazing! haha cant believe that i actually experience such a phenomenon!! heh. some chemical compound that i was supposed to extract(i dunno whats that) was initially a brown solution when i distil it, then it turned into yellowish brown solid and white in the centre IMMEDIATELY when i put it in ice bath! Wow haha.. can you imagine. it's like water freezes all of the sudden. n it's all water freezes very quickly! :P okok... i noe im easily amused haha whatever!

hmm the weekend that just passed was spent watching korean drama - gong. My mum la.. all her fault haha. tempt me into watching it. heh... Lu is so nice la.. I like him :P and the lead actress is very pretty too! well i must say they acted well.. hee though storyline of korean dramas are like all the same, i like it anyway. heeh

some pictures here

Went to play badminton back at Tampines. Haven been there for months..aww i miss these old folks k haha. they are so fun! miss my training days.. in uni now.. dun play much. But I think since IHG is starting very soon, training should been starting soon too. Yay! ;)
Went for supper after our games at lao di fang blk 802. Chicken wings, rojak, the famous fishball mee sua, otah... woooh it's definitely better than Fong Seng hahaa. Yeah..
Snap their pictures when they are not looking ;) sneaky! heh heh

Up next is Dr Bobby Ang who spoke at fellowship teaching yesterday. spoke about the value of student ministry. Though it seems like im back to the days at SYFC .. student ministry. but the points he brought across sounded quite different.. It's more how to say.. hmm practical? not that what was mentioned at YFC was impractical.. it just sounded different to me la.. O and his experiences are really exciting. His experience with God and the time he dedicate for the work of the gospel is something that I am really impressed about. One thing I remember him talking about is China. Though stats show that the christian population in China is about 30m, in actual fact there's about 70m.. wow! If one puts all the chinese christians like from aus, spore... on one side of the balance and china christians on the other side, china has more! Praise the Lord Amen!? :) :) hee.. and he said that while china is already printing 50m copies of bible a yr, it is still not enough to go around.. how the chinese yearn for God's word! ;) hmm to think that actually the cost of the bible is not cheap, keep praying that they'll have enough financial support... yep

Had culture comm meeting last night at 9pm.. felt bit weird to be in blue oyster(ya it's a room that's painted blue and for special occasions) not having praise and worship :) cos that's the room where we use for CG meetings too! hee.. Raudhah snap a resting Dominic haha.. tired from all his D & D meetings and scouts camps.. lolx... funny the way he sleeps haha so fake! ;P

ok.. and then that's me! i love that crown cushion(lying around in the blue room,nobody cares about it) haha.. so i decided to take a photo with it :P it's fun! oo Rau took the pic for me too

hey dear..everyone will be superficial one time or another.it's just how ppl hides it and pretend to be true i would suppose. You are who you are, unique by itself.N i must say you are BEAUTIFUL~ ;)not just on the outside but the interior too.No one is perfect doesnt mean we werent perfect in the first place.We can be perfect.It's a matter of choice.:) oo hee. 2ndly, all ppl noe how to appreciate gd things, esp things we deem beautiful and exclusive.But when our appreciation becomes a desire to possess that sth badly,it turns nasty. The very breath that you have is i would supposed the most precious and wonderful thing we can have everyday, to appreciate and do all that we can.Every morning is a blessing!so whenever you wake up to a fresh morning breeze, be glad that we can embrace it and SMILEz! ;)its beautiful...

 

hmm im trying to figure out now how i can put all my pics in one entry haha.

next up is the chem lecture on monday(last monday haha).. LT 27.. one of the biggest in sci. theatre nice but not the lecture haha. quite boring and the lecturer cant teach very well.. so gotta study myself. Wai Jin is so spontaneously la. hee.. she's the one who posed and smile* Victory!

ooo.. see Grace.. tsk tsk..copying my homework k. hmm I should put it this way, she's taking my work as a reference cause she doesnt know how to do it hahaha

happily working hard~

After chem lecture is ST 1232 tutorial. Enjoy that tutorial though cos I see Huixia, qiuling and lingyu there. heh.. they are fun.. ;)

Didnt attend the chem lecture this monday though cause it's quite useless. somemore there's webcast so i rather listen to the lecture on the net. So meanwhile, I'll just study before I go for tutorial..

See the chem page on the top left hand corner of the collage..disgusting right.. I can be stuck on the same page for quite some time... reason being firstly my english CMI, secondly, the concepts are difficult to grasp. Some are JC work.. but i think its the way the readings are phrased... :S

Woo.. was studying with 2 pretty ladies la..(girls would suit them better) haha.. Adora is trying hard not to be distracted hee.. very focused. good.. hmm Dong Xiang, Sci pageant queen.., cracking her brain to solve a tough question too. man... they are stressing me!

So I went back and had webcast... but after a while... the speed of the lecture was so slow.. and quite crap.. decided to switch off and read my text instead! Gosh, i really need to MUG! im lagging..

LSM 1103 labwork last week was a field trip.. went to Kent Ridge for a walk haha.. basically we got to observe those flora and fauna.. think about the interactions between the plants and insects,animals. well I did discover fascinating stuff hee..

saw the place where they keep monkeys and other animals(?) for experimental purposes.. :P but we cant go in..aww.. :~( heh

watch this video before we went for the walk... some educational dvd on fungi, flowering plants, mossess.... Zzzz haha

see how it bores my lab partner...

she looked so tired after the walk. Poor Ger.. gotta climb up and down with her injured ankle... :X

We were supposed to write an impromptu essay about why the study of ecology must be done along with the study of interaction between animals and plants.. something like that.. cant really remember.. :S

Took a picture of Irene (she was actually trying out my cam) when I went back to grandma's house.. she was there to play mahjong.. heh.. aww.. we almost wanted to go out for cheese cake or apple strudel..(drooling..lolx) but in the end.. was too much of a hassle.. she got to drive and stuff bleah.

pretty~

last but not least......

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introducing flasher HO..

hahahaha... it's so funny! albert and wilson came over to visit the day before. He had ice cream.. and there he goes.. drunk. lolx. (eh.. just in case you didnt know, the ice cream is non alcoholic.imjustkidding.) that's my lab coat he's wearing haha.. was supposed to take a proper picture though. but it so happen that the camera lagged and took it at this shot la. WONderful haha.. that was what you wanted right, albert.... hahaha.

ok.. there goes another week.. back to today. the rain is getting smaller.. I'm going to get out of Eusoff before it pours again. tata~

about the worship session yesterday.. Felt that God's presence was strong and he was with all of us,listening and encouraging us in spirit. I pray that may God's words sink deep into the hearts of those who came and let's continue to pray for those who are not with us last night that we'll always strive to live as upright with a pure conscious before our King.. :) :)

Tuesday.. school on on even weeks! yay yay! hee.. I love tuesdays..

Thank God there was no chinese tutorial yesterday n today, an off day! then I can do my work and study some chem and bio.. my bio lab report is due soon.. and got to hand in chem report today. :) :)

No matter how tired i am, no matter how frustrated i get with myself sometimes..it doesnt matter anymore when i think about Jesus.. His blood he used to purchase for my life. Unto Him be glory and honour in all I do! Amen!

was able to go church on sun.. im so so happy this weekend.. cos God made my day really;) went for cell group on sat but my mum didnt say anything..Sunday went to church came home and she is still speaking to me! What's more, she left the letters from SYFC on my table.no comments. wow. yay! hee

I cant express how much I love God.. but I just simply adore Him!

Sunday sermon was on missions. Talking about how God has called us to evangelise.. how we ought to live as light and salt.. how we ought to fix our eyes upon Jesus. And one thing that strike me was.. the urgency of sharing this wonderful truth.
The invited pastor was telling us about how he was inspired by the movie "Schindler's list" many years ago.. Oskar Schindler saves the Jews from the labour/death camps. (personally i haven watch the award winning movie yet so im just going to quote what the pastor said)
Schindler was an enterprising, womanizing Nazi Sudeten-German industrialist/opportunist and war profiteer(copied from net) had a few friends who are Jews during the second war world and He was urged to save his friends from the horrific torment by the Germans during the Holocast. Soon after bribing the authorities in charge of the Jews and saved his friends, he generated a list to save the other Jews from his factory(he had a factory that uses Jews).. cause he felt a heroic sense of achievement and every life is worth the while and money.. Life is precious.
Not long later, he forked out more and more money, spent more and more time in order to save the Jews.. he may not be able to save all but well at least he made a difference to that one person he saves.
in the end, he used all his money to save the Jews and his factory was suffering due to the lack of financial support.. But he couldnt save all of them.. a train transporting the female workers was misdirected and he couldnt save them.. He regretted .. if he was willing to spend more money..if he was willing to start early.. if he was willing to spend more time..more effort.. maybe these Jews wouldnt die..his time ran out.

This true story strikes a similiar note to me.. I need to seize every opportunity.. treasure every time I spend with anyone..time is running out..

hmm but for the moment when no one's around in my room.. i got to seize the day to complete my tutorials and reports! lolx.. Praise and glory to my Daddy in Heaven! ;)

had lecture just now.. yep chinese traditions again! out of the 3/4 greatest chinese philosophers, i think Laozi and Zhuangzi are the most ridiculous ones la... -_-" seems to me that they are purely living in their own imaginations. can you believe it.. Zhuangzi actually thinks that he might be a butterfly after a dream because he is said to have 'transcended all distinction and forgotten about what is temporal" Gosh.. i mean.. -_-" haha.. not to mention half the time, most of the us don't get what the lecturer is trying to 'help us appreciate' (the teachings of laozi n zhuangzi..)

anw.. enough of that haha.

wooo, B-girls won the volleyball match against A-girls!1st time we won during ibg(Inter-block games) heh.. it was a game of service.. The match between block C and E had definitely been more exciting than ours. But haha.. who cares.. most importantly is that it actually brought the group of girls together ;) and we are going to make a shirt! commemorate.. hehee. cool isnt it.
Im glad..

went sunset prayer(by VCF) yesterday too. was about Prayer.the Lord's Prayer.
had it at the engine bridge, I like that place. Simply because i can see the pretty sight of the colour changes in the sky.(during sunset) Nice
The sky changes from bright orange to a little darker..to a red..a little purplish..then finally the sky turn dark..it reminds me of how I used to get up early to have my quiet time. It was during examination periods. It reminds me of that particular dawn when I heard the crisp voice of a bird.chirping."the more busy i get, the more i have to pray"(weasley.think im quoting correctly) to have a settled heart, a focused mind.. on the right things of cos. Amidst my hectic schedule, i seemed to have lost the meaning of praying but just plainly utterances. Noise. It was a good reminder yesterday.. while the prayer goes like that .." Our Father in heaven". and this word "Father" is none other than the one I can call 'Daddy' intimately.. He allows it.. God.. the one who creates the world, sustain the world, cares for it, provides. The one who's self-sufficient, self-existant.. the Holy one, the King of all kings..Lord of all lord, His name above every other name.. allows me.. and those who believe to call him "Daddy.." what more can I ask for. To have His love above all things. To have Him glorified.. cos there's none like him.

I thank God for all that have happened.. my emotional hurts, things that i thought it shouldnt have meant to be all comes into the perfect picture now. He's teaching me.. to fix my eyes upon Him.. to rely on Him. to let me know, it's ok.. even if the world were to abandon me, He's there. Dont be afraid.. live according to His way..cos He's eternal. He's the Judge of the world. No fears! n i've learnt.. :) my dear Lord Jesus has made my day! cos He has saved me..! without Jesus, there wouldn't be a chance for me to even call God.. my papa.. He truly is all i need.

By Your Grace..With Christ, I'm a Christian..! I'm SOMETHING..haha its so sweet!

Fix your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things on earth will strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace..

my day has to end this way... in tears.. i wonder why. I did what i could..did what i didnt dare do initially.. but it didnt end up the way i thought it would.. Again.Why.
the cloudy sky describe my night...Long and dark. upsetting...

But it's ok... my Lord has His ways.. Though he does not change the situation.. he changes the one in the situation.. He will make the sun rise again tomorrow.. it will be another brand new day..

Im learning to trust.. my dear Abba Father..

"Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." Hosea 6:3

hmmm ok.. haha i think today is the most fruitful day since the start of hostel life.Praise the Lord! heh. my day was filled with lectures and tutorials and then i went to the LIBRARY! to read up on some microbio stuff.. for my lab report. Don't know if all of those reference notes were needed, but i printed them anyway. haha make my bag look more knowledgeable. lol
I must admit they are very interesting indeed hehe..

Took 'Chinese traditions' as one of my breadth modules... initially i think confucius is really confusing haha.. n mozi is trying to establish his unrealistic universal love..what's more, mencius picking a fight with MOzi.. heh..

All these are then clarified..(or rather the TA and lecturer TRIED to clarify) what they were all trying to impress upon the people of their times..
Actually Im quite impressed with the way the philosophers think.. They try to understand why the world is in such chaos during the Warring States and come up with different ways to establish social and political harmony..(or am i wrong?haha) They recognise the utmost importance of love and morality... but then I think confucius himself contradict themself when he speak about concealing the misconduct of one's father(when the father do wrong things of cos) how amazing God has placed in each one of us a regard for morality..a regard for what is righteous and love for others....

The belated photos

(fr the top left hand corner..)
1. jiejing, jason + me during formal dinner..
2.MOS night
3. Rag Day..(nice float rite!)
4. Flag day..wenlin + chinghar..half dead.(me too was taking e pic..)
5. me + twin!
6. Wayne & his belated cake :)
7. sleepy aron
8. zhiye's 'graduation' dinner at Eusoff + jingwei
9. To be good n faithful servant of God;)

 

Jus an update for those who are kapo hee.. yep. my room in hostel.. i noe v messy.. trying to tidy le :) my room has more things now though anw.. yep see that word 'focus' there?? haha right FOCUS right journey to success!!!