I'm currently half way through Ordering your Private World by Gordon MacDonald. It is a fairly insightful and resourceful book to help me reflect and re evaluate my inner world. But... honestly.. the reading had been quite interrupted because I just didnt have the discipline sit down and read it once through or at least faithfully finish one section of the book.. (there's 5 sections)

MacDonald talks about a Christian's motivation of ordering the innermost (it is, to some extent, quite logical why we have to organise our inner world, even to non christians..because basically, it is the one that lasts u longer... what's external/upfront in everyday life can be just a false front haha or an illusion?), the use of time(God given resources), wisdom and knowledge(christians arent thinking very much these days..), spiritual strength and restoration(haven read these 2 aspects).

What struck me very hard today was about growing as a thinker. He suggested we grow by becoming listeners, readers and disciplined students(study). He raised an important concern..how half the time communication just means, we ourselves talking and not willing to sit at others' feet and humble ourselves enough to ask the right questions and listen. I thought.. when was the last time I asked the right questions and listen intently to my mum in order to get to know her. As much as I've always told God I want her to come to know Christ, I've never really presented Christ to her in terms of such care. Perhaps she just needed someone to ask the right questions and know her. Especially her daughter. I'm guilty and ashamed to have failed in this area. I really do not know what to ask... and then I will have a nagging concern.. that she might not respond properly anyway. My mum's like that. She can be quite sarcastic at times or lame.. so stimes simple questions from me do not always get a simple answer in return. Its quite a challenge for me not to lose my patience and ARGH! be kind and take it slowly.
It has never bothered me enough to ask her about her loves and hates... (you know? the questions you ask your newfound friends... the way you want to get to know more about them?) It has never occurred to me to treat her and pacify her like how i pacify my friends.... Lord... please help me to do something about it, wisely.
I read a short article on how Jay Chou treated her mum as his forever lover.. and so he bought her a card on mothers' day, whispered sweet nothings on it and it made her day.. as simple as that.. He purposely told her mum that he's not going home on valentine's (perhaps due to work) but he planned a fireworks display just right outside his house for his mother... that's so sweet right.. I'm ashamed to say that I've wanted to make a card... but.. I didnt. not even a simple card and I made her angry many a times.. simple things like.. reading my book under a yellow light..heh.
:x I need to do sth about it... Like what Joshua Harris did to get to know more about his then-gf, current wife, I ought to keep a little book about my mum too.. 101 questions to get to know her... like... getting to know a potential spouse.. I'll need to consciously tell myself how to love her because she's my mum and because God loves her too, as much as He loves me. Not forgetting my dad too :P