slept at 2+ after dance last night.. this morning dance again at 8am.. took some time off to update the world..
school started with a mess cos i couldnt confirm my schedule only until recently when God did a miracle for me. Was frustrated and stressed with lots of things. It wasn't so much of the CORS system, just me. Bidded for the necessary modules before school started and I thought everything was settled until i found out that the practical slot that I had to sign up for clashes with one of my module(cos I sign up late) and I cant change it unless there's a mutual swap. Its quite impossible cos was rather late already and most likely everyone has decided on their schedule. I made a rash decision to bid for a module that is high in demand, forgetting and forgoing the SS module that I've been waiting for since year 1 Sem 2. When I realised it and tried to appeal for it, there seems to be no chance at all. Soon after I was pretty nervous bout the whole unconfirmed timetable and then IHG..the convening hall just doesnt want to change the timing and half my team cannot make it. I cant go to church too because of it :( Then come dance.. choreo xin qing bu hao, making all the dancers so stressed...well it is expected la cos today is the 3rd piecing and next next thurs would be the BIG day.
I've learnt this period to trust God and I mean really trust. I've done all the things that i could and my plans and work doesnt seem to be going in any direction. All I could do was to wait upon the Lord and indeed he never fail.
Somehow the SS lecturer decided to open up more places and I was able to take that module but one of the lecture still clashes with my prac. Soon after I found out that 2 jokers also wanted to change slots and we swapped. So now everything's settled :D Only thing is... I cant go for NUS BLAST now... it clashes wth the prac.
I've been thinking about my whole badminton 'career' these days. 7 years on the courts and now I'm in a dilemma. To quit or not. I thought maybe im really just not cut out to play badminton. Whenever I hear Amanda and Charissa talking about how to play this certain stroke, why didnt it cross, how to counter this and that, how to play this team.. I'm almost not interested at all. I've always been very impressed by their passion and hardwork. Without them or rather Amanda I would have probably gave up badminton a long long time ago. Well I still like the game, I like trainings cos this is where I met my friends, where I learn team spirit and enjoy being part of it, but there is just something amiss. I dunno what it is. Melissa said I would have to change my mentality and focus on the court, think of just badminton and concentrate on the game and things that I have to do. I think its just me. I have a serious problem of focusing and thinking. Laziness? I suppose. So how... to change it! I'm just easily distracted by stuff.. perhaps I really dont wan it hard enough. I want the supper time and the bonding time but not the on-court time.. cos I feel really lousy when im on it. heh. It's harder than I thought it would be.. to leave.
hmm time to organise my study plan and try harder, SMARTER this semester... 2.73.. :S hope to put in more effort and see how. The first 2 lectures were rather scary.. came out of the lecture hall thinking that was a waste of time and still blur about the lesson. I wouldnt say the lecturers are lousy. Just cant express themselves properly maybe and the content/concepts are really DRY! eeekkk! heh.. plus with dance..sleeping at unearthly hours and getting up early the following morning...im feeling burned out even before school started and dance production. Now that CF is going to start soon I think i'll feel it even more. Pray for me.. that God will grant me strength and concentration. And also discipline to read His word and lean not on my own understanding but His. K... gtg.. later got piecing..better get some rest before 1215pm!! :P Ciaos~