How long will it have to take for me to realise im really not cut out for it..
But I refuse to acknowledge nor am i willing to give up that dream..if it was even one.

The day started confusing and ended yet saddening.
It was finally the day to check my results .. yea again(fyi every 3 mths I'll dread this one day) so there it was staring at me, my efforts in vain. I wonder why. I've put in another ounce of hard work but... perhaps this hard work was really hard not any smarter. Was it....?
Thank you dearest LSM2104 project group mates...without you guys prob I'll end up with another C. But it turned out to be the best out of the 5 modules. Stats I passed it..Thank God.
There bound to be things to thank God for I'm sure yet im not in the mood altogether. Is this really a sign of God saying no? Some rather harsh method heh.. Results doesnt matter ya... but the results just doesnt reflect any of the effort i guess. Again. And I'm demoralised.Very much.

Now I dread to start the next day, I dread to go for the next training, I dread to see another person, I dread... every single moment. It has got to take something to make this go away right.. but I simply cant find a reasonable stuff.. Yucks

现在又要怎么走下去呢。。
我的计划和梦想似乎就此了结了。。

神 到底要怎么样。。
或许我还有些勇气硬着头皮混下去
却好像没有力气，也没了动力。。。
我不想走了。。。请你背着我继续往前。。。
因为我实在是。。。

累了。。。

Anyway.. today's my dad's birthday. He took leave and decided to “量马路”, shop for his clothes. Despite my exhaustion from training in the morning and then the emotionally draining incident, I just had to hide that disappointed face and not spoil my father's day.
Well den we had a rather expensive dinner at long beach restaurant. The lobster was superb but crab...really quite bad. They took some inferior crabs..not very nice. And if you ever dine there, make sure you dont go for their set meals. Not worth it. You can get cheaper and nice stuff by going ala carte. I ate alot..dunno y.. wasnt very hungry but..maybe food lightens the mood of a sad person hur..

Thats all. and for ZY and RS... thanks alot really :) appreciated the little pep talks and visit.