Thursday, April 27, 2006

You have been offered Science in academic year 2006 - 2007.
The details of the offer will be stated in the offer letter.
Your letter of offer was sent on 26-Apr-2006.

Yay! ... but my mind still at nus med sch...
ntu... where's my tcm course....??

Signing off...Tingyu^^


You scored as Chemistry. You should be a Chemistry major! As if that isnt clear enough, you are deeply passionate about Chemistry, and every single chemical reaction and concept fascinates you. Pursue that!

Biology

75%

Engineering

75%

Chemistry

75%

Dance

67%

Journalism

67%

Psychology

67%

Sociology

58%

Mathematics

58%

Art

58%

Theater

58%

Philosophy

50%

Anthropology

42%

English

42%

Linguistics

25%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)

Haha.. i just think this is so funny... I thought I should be a biology major..since the first subject turns out to be biology...?? lolx

Signing off...Tingyu^^


TCM cut off... A B B...
no letter for me...
-_-"

Signing off...Tingyu^^

Monday, April 24, 2006

I really wonder if i should quit this job... the bus trip there will always be a prayerful one. Pray that I'll be patient.Nevertheless i always blow up. Somehow....
Yes whenever she comes by, it just irritates me. I would get so annoyed that I want to rebel. I want to go against whatever she says and hope she'll vomit blood and not step back there again...

But again... I know that it's so wrong.. Love thine enemies.Though she's not my enemy.. I consider her as unreasonable.. demanding.. domineering.. oppressive.. Well, all the pplz there know, we all ought to bear with her. But should I...?? All the more.. Not to stop her nagging.. But to submit to authorities... even unreasonable ones.

Ke SHI!(well another excuse..) the work there is too much for me to bear.. It's physically demanding.. just for that $5 per hour.. I guess I've had enough experience of what waitressing is like..

It takes so much effort just to stay joyful there.
It takes so much effort not to go home in anger.
It takes so much to keep my motive right...
It takes so much effort to keep a good testimony... Father Lord, work in me.

It saps me of my energy... test my patience...
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1: 2-4
Im on trial.... to become mature and complete.

It takes so much of my life just to be a christian. I ask myself this question again... Do I still want to be one. COS the spiritual battle is real. The fact is the world is corrupted and revolves around money and benefits of oneself. AND Im corrupted too...wanting to live a pure and innocent life to please God is to go against what the world values. That's why Im struggling so hard.

No wonder God is angry. The world(you and me..) have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity.. full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice..gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; we invent ways of doing evil; we disobey our parents; we are truly senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless....(Rom 1:29-31)

How many times are we affected by others' inconsideration??
(but it'll never cross our minds, how we have affected others..)

How many times are we affected by others' words??
(but we'll never realise how much pain our careless words has inflicted on others..)

How many times have we lied, cursed and sweared??
(but we never will understand how much God hates that..)

How many times have you been told about the wrath of God and His love for you??
(yet you'll nvr care...)

Why do I want to continue being a christian, even though it seems so hard..??

Reality is that sin is so obvious in my life, sin.... even the very motive of me and of every other ppl doing something just for our own benefits is so so real.. I can not be oblivious to it. I want to live a righteous life that is worthy of God. That is worthy of the intended purpose of my life that God has created. In the begining, God proclaimed all things to be very good.

What's happening today...?
Even brother kills brother just to get the assets of their parents...
Youths and adults alike smoke their way to health destruction...
Teenage sex prevailing... it's getting worse.. What is their sense of right and wrong today..?
Adults themselves cannot be bothered even with the basic respect they should give each other.. What's more for their kids..?
Like what black-eyed-peas sang..Where is the love..
All are self-centered..there is no one righteous..NOT EVEN ONE (Rom 3:10)

Yet I know To live a Christlike life... being a human that is originally created to be is going to be difficult.
Swimming in a rushing flood is never easy..But if I made it...My life will be kept...
If I know Im saved now, by a rescue team, will I not want my loved ones and all those in the waters to be saved too?
Its a flood that Im living in today.. Flood of information from the net, flood of self-centered values from ppl around me, flood of branded materials, good looks that surrounds me all day long.. flood after flood, itll never be easy. But Im already saved. Cos Jesus Christ came.


Someone may say.. it's still based on your own efforts to save yourself from the flood..
Well... one can still be swept away by the strong currents in the water... Who knows how deep the waters are, who knows how strong the current is... who knows... God does.
Think about it.. a vegetable lying on the hospital bed requires a life-support machine to sustain his life.. Who then sustain your heartbeat and supply you the very air molecule you breathe in now? God does..

And I praise God... I thank God... for every moment of my life.. even those frustrating ones. That i may grow to be strong, mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Signing off...Tingyu^^

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

frustrated...
stressed...
very irritated...
tired...physically, mentally, spiritually..

Working... responsibility ... working in this real n corrupted world is terrible....
Im so corrupted myself.. so unworthy before God... So unloving.. How can Christ die for me...

I dunno how long I can continue to stand working like that... struggling so much in me... wanting to give in yet knowing it's wrong at the same time... God..help me!

Im sorry twin.. sounded so harsh and unkind... im frustrated inside..not resolved within me. Things are confused and my patience is tested... I was frustrated with you too... maybe because of my pride,maybe because things didnt go my way... i refuse to understand your intention, even though it was so clear to me...

Keep me from sinning...
Govern my heart..
"The beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord...."

Signing off...Tingyu^^

Friday, April 07, 2006

Father, hear my prayer
I need the perfect words
Words that he will hear
And know they're straight from You
I don't know what to say
I only know it hurts
To see my only friend slowly fade away

So maybe this time I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear is tearing at my words
What am I so afraid of?

Chorus:
'Cause here I go again
Talkin 'bout the rain
And mulling over things that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him
That You love Him
But here I go again, here I go again

Lord, You love him so, You gave Your only Son
If he will just believe; he will never die
But how then will he know what he has never heard
Lord he has never seen mirrored in my life

This might be my last chance to tell him
That You love him
This might be my last chance to tell him
That You love him
You love him, You love him

What Am I so afraid
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid of?
How then will he know
What he has never heard


Father... hear my prayer..n the prayers of my brothers and sisters...

Signing off...Tingyu^^

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

1st day of work at the restaurant....
not bad... quite like it :) quite fun. though bit tiring.. har.. jiao suan..
Pray that I'll always remember my motive and be conscious of my behaviour there.. to be light and salt at my workplace.. Realise that I'll tend to forget my own identity when there's so much things to remember there,but conscious about.so many things to do, keeping myself look busy/really busy..
Since I found out that actually there's another Christian.. let's pray hard that both of us will be able to shine for Christ there!
Praise God for such a place to work aT! :) perfect place. perfect timing.

Signing off...Tingyu^^

Sunday, April 02, 2006


the pplz i miss...
(=*TingYu*=)

Signing off...Tingyu^^


this is a thought that come to my mind on a monday when i was heading to school.. (haha so u can imagine how long ago this is.. )So anyway,..
I was dozing off on the bus and suddenly (i think i was dreaming la.. too tired since it was the morning aft a night's trg) I was on this rollercoaster track that's situated on this unknown mountain. Was lying on a cart, trying to make my way up to the top. how did i do that? Crawl lo... And it seems to me this rollercoaster on the mount is just like my life. always wanting to get to the top,being successful lo.. in my own ways, by my own efforts, crawling.. crawling... it's tough but i set my own targets, define what i think it's success in my life and work towards it.... life is rough....

But some point in my life, I came to know Jesus and decided to accept Him as my Lord and Saviour, knowing that i'm sinful..helpless.. going rounds and rounds in life..So then, Jesus became the King..Ruler of my life.He took the front seat of the cart and we moved on...

As Jesus pulls me up the mountain by His power, me too pushes forward,using every ounce of my strength to push against the ground and move up. For every step we took, it seemed that we would move 2 steps back... I was grabbing the soil and adding weight to the cart..I was trying very hard as though there's no one around to help... Holding on to the values of this world,good results, gd looks, gd charisma, gd career..holding on to my own values, "I think I can..I know I can do it.." physcological power.. but how long can it last? are these values eternal or tangible? are these values in the 1st place right? I know man's limits.. Can we stop Katrina from striking? Can we stop the tsunami? Can we even initiate the beating of our hearts? Clearly in the illustration.. my goal and values are different from Jesus.....

When I finally decide to give up.. and take on what Jesus wants for me, moving towards God.To love Him with all my mind, heart, soul and strength.. to love my neighbours as myself.. We moved on.. leaning on His strength.. moving up the mountain becomes an easier task..a lighter load.

Soon comes all the loops... all sorts of big and small loops in the rollercoaster... like the different obstacles and challenges in life... hah O no.. it's gonna be much tougher than just moving up the mountain.. I began to back off.. turn and make the cart goes slower, attemptin to stop it. Many times I guess when faced with difficulties and challenges ahead, we'll back off. Cos it's gonna be out of our comfort zone.. terrible times.. but still we've got to move on in life...


Then as Jesus and I moved through the loop... I realise that I'll just fall and break into pieces if i contd to stay my way.. drag the ground, stop the cart.. not realising again that Jesus is there. Surely, I will die... the only way is to cling on to my Lord and Savior for life..... Again, as i recall the many times when Im faced with difficulties, all I could do in the end after all my human efforts is to hold on to Jesus' promise of deliverance..only if I were to trust in Him. The free gift is mine to accept.. but if i dun accept a gift, I'll never know what the gift is, neither will I know how good the gift will be to me.

As I hold on to Jesus, I was immediately assured and comforted of my helplessness and worries... true enough, Jesus led me through the different loops, kept me from falling. Protected and preserved me to still be one of His children til today..

Further more, as I look up to the Summit where God is... and then at the diff loops, I know these are all planned to make me strong and righteous. Planned to give me a hope not destruction... n I know I have hope..cos i have Jesus..

Many of us faces different kinds of trials and 'sufferings' in life. Many will fall as they try to make it to the bent of the loop.. Many may stop and give up.. many may not even be willing to embark on this journey... But God has given us hope.. and that hope is in Jesus Christ.. but who will then be willing to cling on really to Him and say yes... I'll follow you....?

haha... can understand?? :p hahaha

Signing off...Tingyu^^

Just me



"Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." Isa 40:30-31


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